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    Finally Making Progress!

    Cool....cool....cool....must I say more? onlybygrace aka saved
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    Survivor

    I think that itself, the word survivor is a straight forward term that can only apply to anyone that walked away, lived. If you take it literally then you get it. I feel that the term can actually help a person to move on. I realize Invisible Survivor that you don't feel that you survived but...
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    Stressor vs. Trigger - What Is A Trigger?

    I have noticed that events or memories can become "linked" so that for me it can be hard to separate them when triggered. I am learning to become as aware as I can when triggered because I put myself in danger and others which happened several weeks ago because of it. This was the first trigger...
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    I do not deserve the help or to recover, because i'm worthless.

    Ah....boy can I relate...man....it was a day in day out battle for me. It is something that you won't believe at first and you do feel like you are pretending...if you can view it as punches directed back to those "mean voices" and just fight, you'll make some headway. It's a slow process and it...
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    That Dark Place

    I have been following this thread and to me it's amazing how you all rallied around Jadebear with all kinds of help and even...."hey, do something about it"! The honesty is so rich. I love it. My hat is off to you Jadebear for keeping with it and not being scared off from comments that could...
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    I do not deserve the help or to recover, because i'm worthless.

    I couldn't help be to respond but I'll give you a bit of insight that I have grown to understand. I have been there where you are at. The self hate that I had was so intense that I felt like I would eating myself from the inside out. I know that sounds odd but it was that deep and palable. I...
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    New And Barely Coping

    Thank you for your kind words in regards to my family. I feel that I did a great job with my girls and yet I try to think back and remember if I gave them enough love. I was more a light hearted mom that gave lots of support but when it came to "I love you" or hugs and holding (beyond infancy...
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    General Communication Frustration With A Carer - What To Do?

    I love your honesty and straight forwardness....my hat is off to you! I can emphasize with you on the anger issue. I can't handle being around anything even remotely angry, it brings out the emotional hives in me. My view is that your boyfriend need to learn and respect what his anger does to...
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    New And Barely Coping

    Frog....your post brought up recognition and tears in me.....I so totally relate and understand. I am so sorry that you didn't get the support or friendship in that church, I hate it when church people don't live and walk the talk, ugh. Odd how most people don't understand what it is that I...
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    New And Barely Coping

    Frog: I forgot to write something.....your experience with your therapist was awful and the fact that she overstepped boundaries like that, in a way she "Perpetrated" you....she violated you in many respects. I am so sorry that this happened. Have you noticed that it seems like the things we...
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    New And Barely Coping

    I totally get it and have been there.....to me it feels like your soul is dying and no one knows and no one cares. I went through what you are describing at my worst time in my life back in the 90's and I was close to suicide many times. It is hell and I can relate to what you are talking about...
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    Do You Like To Be Hugged?

    I wish I could really enjoy and feel a hug. To me a hug has no meaning....even from my husband. I have two grown children and even with them, a hug is routine. I draw a total blank on them and the subject. A hug will and can trigger me, so I am very leary of them. I haven't figured out why I am...
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    Do You "Check Out" When You Are Overwhelmed Emotionally

    I experience what you are talking about all the time. I am so used to it that I forget that it is a symptom of ptsd. I think when it does bother me is when I am needing to be super vigilant or am nervous and am afraid that I'll miss part of a vital part of the conversation and therefore be...
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    Sharing Details With Family That I Wished I Hadn't

    Thank you for all your kind thoughts and your suggestions. I have learned my lesson. Odd how I have the tendency not to open up but when I do I usually screw it up by going too far with too much information. I should have known that my SIL wouldn't understand, she has the "little mother hen with...
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    Sharing Details With Family That I Wished I Hadn't

    I made the mistake of sharing some details with my SIL about an event that happened almost two weeks ago and now I am feeling the affects. I was triggered in church and on the way home, I ended up heading for an on-coming car at about 60-65 mph with no feelings, no sense of danger or...
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    Newbie Here: Teenage Daughter Diagnosed With PTSD

    Welcome and you will find support here. It sounds like you have a plan of action and you are doing all the right things. Take a day at a time and remember to breathe.....this will be a traumatic time for you and your family. I remember my 15th year as being so traumatic but I managed to keep my...
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    I Am Too Tired To Fight Anymore

    Amen Tessa...whiter than snow, that says it all!
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    I Am Too Tired To Fight Anymore

    Yeh....I like it, Saved....shortened sounds good. And boy, do I feel saved. You know I have got to get to bed but thought I would share with you that I hike every evening and I concentrate on my relationship with God. I call it my prayer hikes but I am concentrating more on having a...
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    Hi - Childhood Abuse

    Let me be the first to welcome you. You'll find support here and many people with experiences such as yours. I have a past of sexual and emotional abuse and I am diagnosed with ptsd, attachment disorder and social anxiety. I have food issues but not the extreme as you mention in your post. I...
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    Fixated Thinking: Do You Act On It?

    I became so fixated that it seem to create an insatiable desire to know more and more. I had to let it go because of the mental anguish. It helped in a way that he is dead and yet it felt like running into an emotional roadblock. For my sanity and healing, I had to let it go. I am better for it.
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    I Am Too Tired To Fight Anymore

    Wow....I feel your soul tonight....lots of pain and regret. I just talked with my pastor yesterday about keeping things from our spouse....in my case something minor compared to what you experienced. He feels that not all things are beneficial to tell our spouse, especially if it will cause...
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    I Am Too Tired To Fight Anymore

    I'll be praying for you....boy, you sound like where I was at several years ago. I have been able to stay off from the rocks...whew. If you like we could become friends and I would like to be more of a support to you. I have been through major loops. There is hope, believe me. God bless....
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    I Am Too Tired To Fight Anymore

    I went back and took more time to read your post....I wanted you to know that someone is here and cares. Don't be so hard on yourself and know that we all are human and you are trying to survive and who knows why you had your affair. I did a crazy thing over a week ago that could have killed me...
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    I Am Too Tired To Fight Anymore

    Actually, I have found that this site is a bit slow.....I am not sure why. It sounds like you are in a very dark place and it all can feel like it snowballs and builds and builds. I think people are so busy but people do care. I care! I struggle everyday with all of this and there are good days...
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    Obsessive Thoughts With Sexual And Violent Themes

    I think we all just experienced a typical ptsd "snafu".....Sara Belle please don't give up and give us all a chance. We all need each other and superjen don't be hard on yourself. I don't struggle with OCD but I do struggle with what you are talking about but I wasn't sure about posting. In my...
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