lighteningdarkness
MyPTSD Pro
It's raining. But the sun is shining. There's no rainbow or anything special. Just the bright sun and a thin mist of rain, like a filter over everything. Feels kind of prophetic.
Life is going on, moving forward, changing, growing. But it feels like there's a filter over the top of everything. Like all of the experiences and things in my life now are filtered through the past, and everything that goes with that.
Most of the time life is good, sometimes unbelievably so. I have a life that some would be jealous of, possibly most. My home is warm, and comfortable and safe, for the first time I have a reasonable degree of financial security. I'm a mum. And I love an amazing woman who loves me back - and more than that, she gets me. I'm safe.
And yet here I am, looking out of the window, through the rain. Thinking of my life and experiencing my life through the filter of PTSD which should be long gone. And because of that every day still feels like a battle. When in reality it's not, it's just life.
Life is going on, moving forward, changing, growing. But it feels like there's a filter over the top of everything. Like all of the experiences and things in my life now are filtered through the past, and everything that goes with that.
Most of the time life is good, sometimes unbelievably so. I have a life that some would be jealous of, possibly most. My home is warm, and comfortable and safe, for the first time I have a reasonable degree of financial security. I'm a mum. And I love an amazing woman who loves me back - and more than that, she gets me. I'm safe.
And yet here I am, looking out of the window, through the rain. Thinking of my life and experiencing my life through the filter of PTSD which should be long gone. And because of that every day still feels like a battle. When in reality it's not, it's just life.