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General 6 Days Off Meds

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maggie1110

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Over a week ago, hubby and I talked about tested his theory that getting off his meds (Prozac and an anti-anxiety med I can't think of) so that he would know if the meds were working or not. I knew they are working, but since he doesn't like to take meds, he naturally thinks they are crap and don't work. Well, we've had a few rough days. Thursday was bickering and nagging. Friday was screaming profanities at me for hours on end. Basically no interaction with him on Saturday because I "made" him go to a Crisis center with me to check it out and see if it could provide him with the additional help he needs. They cannot as they are more for acute care, not chronic care. Once we got home, he was out like a light for the entire day/night until I left today at 1:30pm. After I got home around 5pm, he's been on a crying jag and is pretty much talking nonsense. I talked to him about our agreement with the meds and that he needed to get back on them because he hasn't had any emotional breakdowns since before the meds. Unfortunately, in his state of mind, he doesn't think the meds are working. I guess I have to hope he will be lucid tomorrow so we can talk about this. I did use my phone to record our conversation because I want him to hear it when he's in a different frame of mind. Is that wrong?

Tomorrow I want to take him to check out a partial hospitalization to see if they can offer him more. That is going to "rock" his world.
 
Rough situation for you both! He's lucky he has someone in his life who cares about him. Is he in therapy, besides the meds?
 
Yes, he goes to therapy once a week for 50 minutes which I DO NOT think is enough! He needs much more therapy than he's getting, but I have no clue how/where to get that help; he is not a vet. I'm going to check out a local hospital that has a partial hospitalization program to see if they can help him more than he's getting.
 
@anthony, I didn't know that because the doc said he could just stop since his dose was so low. I thought the meds were working because his behavior is now (literally starting today) the same as before he starting the meds (Prozac).
 
I'm sorry that you are going through this. It is awful - probably really awful for both of you. :hug: Stopping Prozac cold turkey can cause the symptoms he is experiencing.

Beyond that, have you tried not rescuing him and changing him, which is likely impossible, as he has to want to change himself before any change happens... and instead tried changing you? Going to therapy for support for yourself and guidance through this process?
Not because anything is wrong with you, but because you can't change him. You can't. This is the crappiest and most painful thing about being a supporter, but try as you may, you can not change him - and you are working awfully hard at doing just that. Your intentions are good, but the task impossible.

What you can change is you. You can set your own boundaries about his behavior and symptoms. You can offer to take him to treatment options he chooses. If he doesn't choose treatment, and his behavior doesn't change, then you can work with a therapist to set boundaries of your own. Let him face consequences for choosing to not pursue treatment that is effective and works for him.

A supporter setting gentle but very clear consistent boundaries often does a lot more to change a situation than dragging an unwilling sufferer to treatment they are not interested in.

It's good to look into treatment options, and to give them to him, but it doesn't seem like he is interested in them at all as evidenced by his temper tantrums about it.

As for recording him, your intentions may again be good, but you are going about it in a way that could cause a lot more harm than good. The act of recording him without his knowledge or consent, in many states in the US, is a felony. it's a rather serious felony in many areas of the US that people spends years in prison for committing. Before you tape a conversation again, especially of someone in their private home, please Google "one party consent recording" and see if your state qualifies as one of the few where it is legal to record someone else without their knowledge or consent. Even better, consult an attorney.

If you really do want to record him, talk to him. See if he will agree to it when he is in a calm and lucid state. Not just because of the serious legal ramifications but because such recording could be considered a serious and extreme violation his trust. If he agrees, which he may agree, then ask to audio tape his agreement. Then later, when he is in a "non-lucid" state, then you can tape him.

But the need for caution does not end there. Please consider giving him the tape when he is with a professional. Listening to that tape recording could cause a mental breakdown of epic proportions. He is using denial as a defense mechanism for a reason. Tearing down the walls of denial in such a confrontational manner as to give someone a tape of themselves is something to do with a bit of care.

Early into my PTSD journey, when I was losing time and dissociating very badly, I taped myself. When I listened to my own tape recordings of myself to know what was happening when I was losing time, I lost my shit. It actually set me back significantly. It was good for me to do, but I wished I had listened to the tape with support and much more slowly than I did.

You are clearly frustrated and burned out. Focus on getting support for you first and foremost, and it may make dealing with him and his untreated and out of control symptoms an easier path.
 
Medicine also says that most medications are completely out of your system within x days, thus you shouldn't have withdrawals, however; your body has this period of help by a third party (medication) to now suddenly not having it, and thus you have to find more person centric ways to develop effective coping strategies. Withdrawal from SSRI's and such can take months to develop effective coping strategies to replace what the medication did, or stopped doing.

Medication has its own set of problems, especially longevity. They're an individual thing... some like them, some don't.

Again... the meds may be working and you're right, it could be just because he doesn't like them. There are numerous factors that could be present in such a case.
 
@Justmehere, I just typed a lengthy response to your post and poof, it's gone! I'm annoyed and can't even think about rewriting this minute. I'll type it up later... damn computers! lol Heartfelt thanks for all you've typed above!
 
Not being a US resident, I don't know the specifics of the legality of audio recording one's own spouse. I can say that personally, if I were in your husband's shoes. I would be grateful for it. It is incredibly hard to look at yourself from the outside in that state. That being said, as much as I would be appreciative, I would be bloody mad for a few days.

Withdrawals are incredibly unpleasant. I have also learned the hard way twice now, if a doctor says a mood drug isn't addictive. They are probably lying. I don't know why, maybe they think the benefits will outweigh the negatives. Or maybe they think no one would try it, if they knew how bad it will feel to quit.
 
Over a week ago, hubby and I talked about tested his theory that getting off his meds (Prozac and an anti-anxiety med I can't think of) so that he would know if the meds were working or not.

I can certainly relate to this , i dont take meds now and havent for a long time , but i will never forget both going on them and taking myself off them. In one word it can be incredibly dangerous and in all honesty i dont say that lightly. The emotional reactions that can come with withdrawal can only be described as hell in a handbasket.

Sometimes you are aware your reactions are not yours, sometimes you are not and this is where the danger can come in. Not only can suicide risk increase , but also your emotional reactions. Even if he didnt feel they are working , it seems obvious he had enough in his system to placate him, as you state you have had a few days of his ups and downs. i dont think recording him is wrong , but in his current state, i would be careful , my ex wife always threatened to record me when i was off and as much as i understood her point, to actually do it presents another kettle of fish and maybe not a good one..

What i would do if possible is ask him if you can join one session with his therapist and raise it there , its still a tricky and dicey proposition though. The other thing i would consider is getting support for yourself independent of him , to deal with this sort of situation puts you at risk and lets face it the stress for the supporter can be unbearable at times as well. I truly wish you well and hope you find a suitable solution, good luck.
 
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