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A 10 Year Old Sexual Assult

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A man attempted to rape me when I was 14 years old, when it had happened a girl was in the same room who I had once called a friend and laughed while he was doing horrible things to me. I couldn't stop him because he had a knife to me and what I remember is her laughing. After it was over it took me 5 hours just to have the courage to go home. I was scared I didn't know what happened other than I had no control over myself anymore.

When I went to the police 6 other females came out of the wood works and stated that this man had done this stuff to them. In the end because of the girl who witnessed 2 of the attacks plus mine who was the one laughing, she stated to the crown prosecutor that we were liars that we asked for it and she never testified. The judge ended up dismissing the case and the man was set free.

For years I went to therapy and got past a lot of issues. I can now hug a man, I don't feel nerves being near men over the age of 30. I thought I had kicked the emotions, 2 years ago the girl came back into my life in a sick way, she is dating and had children with my sister in-laws, brother in-law. When it was first brought to my attention I just said keep the B***** away from me. I started to have the panic attacks and my husband which I had been with at the time for 3 years was helping me through the stress that had built up.

3 days ago my sister in-law brought her up in conversation and when I told her that I didn't want to hear anything she had to say on that subject we ended up in a heated argument. She told me that I just need to get over what happened that the mindy we will got that thing, wasn't doesn't even remember what happened. And that it happened 10 years ago and that I just need to get over it and stop holding a grudge. I told her that yes it happened 10 years ago, a man made me feel I had no control over my life but mindy was just as responsible, she called her self a friend and set me up to be in a situation that know one she ever be in.

Anyways, my own sister in-law is taking this woman side, and with this all being brought up again the nightmares came back, I am working on getting help but I just want their faces out of my sleep. I thought I got through this and I haven't. It's started to feel like it just happened all over. I wish I knew what to say to my sister in-law. I just need the answer that will shut her up for ever. That sometimes the people who experience what I have just don't get over it. Someone please help me find the answers I can't deal with this type of person again. The one that says get over it.

<edited by cherryblossom - for readability (paragraphing and capitalisation)>
 
Theres always people who dont understand and tell you to "just get over it". We all have versions of those people judging us for our reactions, I just dont think there is a way to make them understand! My therapist just says that I dont haveto answer to them and be the higher person and not let their shallow cruel quick judgement affect me x
 
You certainly don't have to listen to anything about anybody if you don't want to. You've made it pretty plain, and shame on your sister in law for turning your boundary into an argument. I can understand why having this Mindy so close to your family would be so disturbing. I'm a bit skeptical of your sister in law's defensiveness when you said you didn't want to talk about her... sounds like she's got some issues herself. I think I'd be discussing her with your husband, and seeing what he has to say. I have had to sic my husband on his mother, and he's had to do the same with mine. We are a unified front and he knows best how to handle his sister and put the kabosh on this pronto. If she gets ticked off, too bad... she can take her own advice and get over it.
 
Well the reason why mindy is such a big deal in all of this, is because she watched the man do what he did and laughed, later when the police investigated she was at 3 other incidents and did roughly the same thing, in the end she told me and most of the other girls that this man did this to and told us we deserved what happened, like she set it up in a way. That i basically where I set my boundry then that i never wanted to look at her face again, and now what do you know small god damn world she is in my husbands family now. sick sad world we live in, i just wish i could kick the nightmares
 
It will happen for you... stress reduction techniques helped me alot... but your SIL's position ... anything you or your husband can do to enforce this boundary? It would help slow them (the nightmares) down I imagine.
 
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