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A Letter To My Family & Loved Ones

Discussion in 'General' started by Boo-Damphir, Aug 26, 2006.

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  1. Boo-Damphir

    Boo-Damphir Active Member

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    Thank you for staying with me, even though many times I know you felt helpless. I appreciate having you in my life - it truly means a lot.
    There are a few suggestions I would like to make.

    Think of me as a cup of tea filled to the brim. One more drop and I'll overflow.

    When we are together, I don't need you to entertain me or fill me in on the latest gossip and drama. My cup is too full.

    It's ok to ask me "What's wrong?" but please ask just once. More than that and you will get the standard answer - "nothing" or "everything." Then I will begin to dwell on what IS wrong with me, why am I not right? My cup is too full.

    Try not to be alarmed by my silence. I can go days without speaking. My cup is too full of images, noises, stimuli; silence keeps it from overflowing.

    Are you afraid I'll commit suicide? So am I, let's talk about it. Yes I have a plan, all my life I've had a plan. But the more I talk about it to others, the easier it is to remain safe.

    Bring me Presence not Presents. I would like you to sit still by my side, perhaps our shoulders touching or your hand on mine. Enjoy the silence with me, become comfortable with it.

    Bring me Presence. Instead of "What's wrong?" try, "What bothers you most?" or "How does this rainy day make you feel?" It may take several moments for me to formulate my thoughts into words, so please be patient. As I reply, just let me ramble for my cup is too full, but it is now beginning to empty. So you see, your Presence is a gift.

    As my cup empties I'll be better able to begin filling it with tools to help me through the bad times and I'll be better able to give you the gift of my Presence as well.

    All My Love,
    ~Boo-Damphir
     
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  3. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    That's beautiful, Boo. It reflects how I feel. I hope others will read this and have a better understanding of how to be a compassionate person with PTSD. Thank you.
     
  4. YoungAndAngry

    YoungAndAngry Well-Known Member

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    Very well written Boo :)

    Nice work!
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Very nice. Struck me more of a poetry piece... It does seem to decribe a lot and so much so on the silence and just be with.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Boo... that is amazing... I am struggling to find the words actually. We are here for you Boo... thank you for being you.
     
  7. Boo-Damphir

    Boo-Damphir Active Member

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    Thank you all so much, that was a 2 day project and lots of tears.
    Please feel free to use it, modify it, give it to your loved ones, whatever will work for you.
    View attachment 34
     

    Attached Files:

  8. purdyamos

    purdyamos Active Member

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    You're very lucky, Boo. It's very special what you've written.
     
  9. jods

    jods Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Boo.
    As a spouse that really hit home for me & touched me.(A tear or two)
    Thank YOU for the courage of putting your feeelings into words to help us understand & support you in the way you need to be supported.
    I know I have learnt something for your words of wisdom.
     
  10. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Boo... what does the image you attached mean?
     
  11. Boo-Damphir

    Boo-Damphir Active Member

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    That is me; dancing, running, jumping, light-hearted (the me I wish I could be) and the Doberman is Raven my Service Dog who helps me with mobility, balance and medical alert for migraines. He helps me feel whole and independent.
    And yes, I understand the irony of having a Doberman as a service dog. I've had Doberman's since the mid 1970's so it was a natural choice for me.
    I must admit, I like being out in public and having people not approach me as often as other acquaintences who use the traditional Labrador Retriever. I can't exactly run away from gangbangers who might want to steal my purse (or worse) in a parking lot, but Raven deters a lot of that nonsense.
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Thanks... much appreciated.
     
  13. mac

    mac Active Member

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    I call those dogs, "Lawsuit dogs." My neighbor behind me has two of them in his backyard and they really piss me off because we have a three foot high chain-link fence and these dogs will tower that fence and bark at us when we are in the backyard. I didn't let my kids play in the backyard unless I was there, which means, the whole summer the kids were out of school, they didn't get to play in the back yard. I talked to my neighbor and he said he would be putting up a tall privacy fence, but never did. I was starting to consider poisoning or out-right killing those dogs until I found out my neighbor is moving... yes!!!
     
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