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Sufferer A Very Serious Car Accident

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Mariah

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On August 15th it will mark the one year anniversary for my car accident.
In this accident, I was the front passenger. I did not know the driver, and my two friends were in the back. Everyone had their seatbelts on, which ultimately is why we are alive today. We were recklessly driving over 100 mph (about 180-200 kmph, not totally sure) in some back country roads. I was watching the whole time. We hit a Y shaped intersection, the curve came so fast there was nothing the driver could do. He tried to drop from 5th gear to 1st in one second, which blew his transmission, of course. But also, because of General Motors' neglectful productions of multiple cars regarding the ignition switch and faulty safety features the steering wheel locked up and the air bags never deployed when we went head on into a ginormous tree. In a Saturn Ion. I felt the transmission drop, I watched the tree fly at us, I braced myself against the door and the center console and I just started screaming. Which then caught the attention of my two friends in the back who were busy messing around (not sexually). I swear I thought we were all going to be killed instantly. I thought of everyone I love. My mom, my best friend, my siblings, nieces and nephews, my animals. It was over for us. We were going way too fast and I had seen enough stories. I thought about everything in that last couple of seconds. But then we hit. I watched the entire front of the car fall apart in front of me. I watched the windshield shatter, expecting to get a face full of glass. I never stopped screaming. I kept screaming as I climbed out of the window. I was in complete shock that we had all survived such a horrible impact. When emergency services arrived, the police measured the skid marks behind us. There were 220 feet of skid, based off of that, they estimated we were going 120 mph on impact. We weren't going quite that fast, my friends say 110, but I say 100. I had neck pain to the right of my spine, some hip pain from the buckle and my breast was rapidly bruising from the seatbelt. The other 3 had cuts, but I had a bruise because my out of style denim vest saved me from that. I denied my pain to emergency personnel because I just wanted to go home and hug my mom. I couldn't even call her for help because she had left her phone at work that night. I got home around 5 am and fell asleep with my mom, woke up at 10 and went to the hospital then. I could barely walk I was so sore. But I could walk and I am still so grateful. To this day, I have constant neck and back pain, muscle spasms, and headaches of course. I had to stop physical therapy due to driver's minimal insurance. So physically I am reminded of the crash every day. I drive, very cautiously. I know I will never go into another tree at 100 mph again. But I am petrified of getting into even a fender bender. I think about my crash constantly. What if I had been killed? What would my mother be doing? what would my room look like? even something as simple as putting on some socks, "I shouldn't be putting these on right now. I should be sewn back together in the ground." It absolutely tortures me. If I have a close call, I pull over immediately and cry for an hour before I give up and just go home for the day. I refuse to go near any freeways, because of the speed. I relive my accident multiple times a day and my two friends don't understand, even though I would expect them to out of everyone. I really need help and I refuse medication. Someone tell me how I can finally overcome this, and just take advantage of my second chance at life.
 

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Hi @Mariah,
Welcome to the forum.
I can understand what a terrifying experience that must have been.

Are you seeing a therapist to help you work through this? I may be misunderstanding, but it sounds as if you are blaming the car for the accident. Was the driver prosecuted?

I am pleasantly surprised that you are still managing to drive. It may be very difficult, but it sounds as if you are rising to the challenge. I suspect that doing so will help you face the challenges afforded by therapy also.
 
Hi @Mariah,

Are you seeing a therapist to help you work through this?
====================================================================================================

Lucycat,
I am not seeing a therapist for a couple of reasons. One, I've had bad experiences with therapists before. They always push medication on me and I hate that. Two, I cannot afford it and my insurance does not cover it.
Also I can see why you got the idea that I did not blame the driver. But I do. A lot. I carry around a lot of hatred for him. It wasn't his first accident and he has been pulled over since then for reckless driving. He's 27 and his stupid parents keep buying him more cars. He almost killed all of us. He heard me scream and he saw me cry while the police cleaned up the scene and paramedics evaluated us. And he still drives so carelessly. The only correct piece of info that was on the police report was the 220 feet of skid. They wrote down the BS story he told of going only 60 and a coyote getting in the way. It makes me furious. The police walked up to us, looked ME in the eye and seriously told me while holding up a large piece of the engine, "I found this 15 feet away on the other side of the tree. You're really lucky this didn't get thrown back into your lap and crush you instantly." But didn't even give the driver a ticket. They knew he was lying, they knew what really happened, and still wrote down that lie. I blame the driver, I blame the cops, I blame the driver's parents. I blame myself. It was so stupid of me to get in that car.
And as for the driving, I'm glad I've been able to get into cars but it is still very hard. I had to get over it because I'm afraid of any transportation. I was in a bus crash awhile before my car crash. I was okay after it but now that affects me in a big way too. I do not trust anyone on the road. Not myself, not strangers, not my mom, noboddyyyy. I backseat drive so bad I get into screaming matches. I just want to move on. I shouldn't have lived through that, but I did. And I want to live my life now.
Thank you for your support. <3
 
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One, I've had bad experiences with therapists before. They always push medication on me and I hate that.
It is a shame you have had bad experiences. I have not had medication pushed on me at all. I am taking a very low dose of medication to help me sleep but that was entirely my own choice and if I decide to stop or do without it for a few nights my therapist is fully supportive of that.

Two, I cannot afford it and my insurance does not cover it.
That is an unfortunate consequence of where you live. Here it is provided on our National Health Service so affordability does not come into it.

Also I can see why you got the idea that I did not blame the driver. But I do.
Good. From what you have said that is clearly where the blame lies. I thought these days forensics were able to prove the speed of a car at impact - or at least near enough to see that he was driving at excessive speed and therefore dangerously.

I blame myself. It was so stupid of me to get in that car.
You were not to know. Most of us at some time have got into a car that is driven by a stranger. We never expect them to put our life at risk and behave recklessly. You need to believe it was not your fault.
 
It is a shame you have had bad experiences. I have not had medication pushed on me at all. I am taking a very low dose of medication to help me sleep but that was entirely my own choice and if I decide to stop or do without it for a few nights my therapist is fully supportive of that.
Good. From what you have said that is clearly where the blame lies. I thought these days forensics were able to prove the speed of a car at impact - or at least near enough to see that he was driving at excessive speed and therefore dangerously.


My mom always forced me into therapy when I was younger and they always put me on mind numbing drugs. I know I could find a good therapist who wouldn't do that. But that comes back to the money/insurance thing. It is so unfortunate that the United States doesn't care about their people.
And the police estimated we were going even faster than we actually were. They knew exactly what was up. They just, as my two friends so eloquently put it, "felt bad for us," so that was an excuse to falsify the report and let the driver get away with it. And I do blame myself. Not as much as the driver. But I do. I shouldn't have let him drive so fast. That one night I let my fears go and just let him drive fast, now I feel like I will never be able to let my fears go ever again.
 
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Mariah, I was rear ended in 2000. I happened to look into the rear view mirror as the driver was about to crash into me, and I carried that image in my head for 5 years every day until I found and EMDR therapist who got rid of it in seconds. It cost me $250. What a bargain. Only went once. The problem was that I thought in that fraction of a second, that I was going to die or wind up in a wheel chair. It was the look on the other driver's face that got me. I reacted to it. Fortunately I was all in one piece, but I did have a concussion and it did injure my lower back. Trying to get compensation for it was another nightmare which I won't discuss. My atty turned out to be a real nut case who dropped the case when his two underlings left the firm. If you can find an EMDR therapist, it is amazing how it helps, and quickly. In seconds. I still am dealing with the after effects from this whole thing 14 yrs later. It subsided pretty good, but then my husband died from a hospital acquired infection quite suddenly, and the anxiety came back. That was 3.5 yrs ago. Heaven help us.
 
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