On August 15th it will mark the one year anniversary for my car accident.
In this accident, I was the front passenger. I did not know the driver, and my two friends were in the back. Everyone had their seatbelts on, which ultimately is why we are alive today. We were recklessly driving over 100 mph (about 180-200 kmph, not totally sure) in some back country roads. I was watching the whole time. We hit a Y shaped intersection, the curve came so fast there was nothing the driver could do. He tried to drop from 5th gear to 1st in one second, which blew his transmission, of course. But also, because of General Motors' neglectful productions of multiple cars regarding the ignition switch and faulty safety features the steering wheel locked up and the air bags never deployed when we went head on into a ginormous tree. In a Saturn Ion. I felt the transmission drop, I watched the tree fly at us, I braced myself against the door and the center console and I just started screaming. Which then caught the attention of my two friends in the back who were busy messing around (not sexually). I swear I thought we were all going to be killed instantly. I thought of everyone I love. My mom, my best friend, my siblings, nieces and nephews, my animals. It was over for us. We were going way too fast and I had seen enough stories. I thought about everything in that last couple of seconds. But then we hit. I watched the entire front of the car fall apart in front of me. I watched the windshield shatter, expecting to get a face full of glass. I never stopped screaming. I kept screaming as I climbed out of the window. I was in complete shock that we had all survived such a horrible impact. When emergency services arrived, the police measured the skid marks behind us. There were 220 feet of skid, based off of that, they estimated we were going 120 mph on impact. We weren't going quite that fast, my friends say 110, but I say 100. I had neck pain to the right of my spine, some hip pain from the buckle and my breast was rapidly bruising from the seatbelt. The other 3 had cuts, but I had a bruise because my out of style denim vest saved me from that. I denied my pain to emergency personnel because I just wanted to go home and hug my mom. I couldn't even call her for help because she had left her phone at work that night. I got home around 5 am and fell asleep with my mom, woke up at 10 and went to the hospital then. I could barely walk I was so sore. But I could walk and I am still so grateful. To this day, I have constant neck and back pain, muscle spasms, and headaches of course. I had to stop physical therapy due to driver's minimal insurance. So physically I am reminded of the crash every day. I drive, very cautiously. I know I will never go into another tree at 100 mph again. But I am petrified of getting into even a fender bender. I think about my crash constantly. What if I had been killed? What would my mother be doing? what would my room look like? even something as simple as putting on some socks, "I shouldn't be putting these on right now. I should be sewn back together in the ground." It absolutely tortures me. If I have a close call, I pull over immediately and cry for an hour before I give up and just go home for the day. I refuse to go near any freeways, because of the speed. I relive my accident multiple times a day and my two friends don't understand, even though I would expect them to out of everyone. I really need help and I refuse medication. Someone tell me how I can finally overcome this, and just take advantage of my second chance at life.
In this accident, I was the front passenger. I did not know the driver, and my two friends were in the back. Everyone had their seatbelts on, which ultimately is why we are alive today. We were recklessly driving over 100 mph (about 180-200 kmph, not totally sure) in some back country roads. I was watching the whole time. We hit a Y shaped intersection, the curve came so fast there was nothing the driver could do. He tried to drop from 5th gear to 1st in one second, which blew his transmission, of course. But also, because of General Motors' neglectful productions of multiple cars regarding the ignition switch and faulty safety features the steering wheel locked up and the air bags never deployed when we went head on into a ginormous tree. In a Saturn Ion. I felt the transmission drop, I watched the tree fly at us, I braced myself against the door and the center console and I just started screaming. Which then caught the attention of my two friends in the back who were busy messing around (not sexually). I swear I thought we were all going to be killed instantly. I thought of everyone I love. My mom, my best friend, my siblings, nieces and nephews, my animals. It was over for us. We were going way too fast and I had seen enough stories. I thought about everything in that last couple of seconds. But then we hit. I watched the entire front of the car fall apart in front of me. I watched the windshield shatter, expecting to get a face full of glass. I never stopped screaming. I kept screaming as I climbed out of the window. I was in complete shock that we had all survived such a horrible impact. When emergency services arrived, the police measured the skid marks behind us. There were 220 feet of skid, based off of that, they estimated we were going 120 mph on impact. We weren't going quite that fast, my friends say 110, but I say 100. I had neck pain to the right of my spine, some hip pain from the buckle and my breast was rapidly bruising from the seatbelt. The other 3 had cuts, but I had a bruise because my out of style denim vest saved me from that. I denied my pain to emergency personnel because I just wanted to go home and hug my mom. I couldn't even call her for help because she had left her phone at work that night. I got home around 5 am and fell asleep with my mom, woke up at 10 and went to the hospital then. I could barely walk I was so sore. But I could walk and I am still so grateful. To this day, I have constant neck and back pain, muscle spasms, and headaches of course. I had to stop physical therapy due to driver's minimal insurance. So physically I am reminded of the crash every day. I drive, very cautiously. I know I will never go into another tree at 100 mph again. But I am petrified of getting into even a fender bender. I think about my crash constantly. What if I had been killed? What would my mother be doing? what would my room look like? even something as simple as putting on some socks, "I shouldn't be putting these on right now. I should be sewn back together in the ground." It absolutely tortures me. If I have a close call, I pull over immediately and cry for an hour before I give up and just go home for the day. I refuse to go near any freeways, because of the speed. I relive my accident multiple times a day and my two friends don't understand, even though I would expect them to out of everyone. I really need help and I refuse medication. Someone tell me how I can finally overcome this, and just take advantage of my second chance at life.