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About to go very public about my rape

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There is a local production of something based on the Vagina Monologues, but these are stories and poems written by the cast in the production instead. I am in it and will be telling my story onstage! I’m freaking out, but kind of excited, then freaked out again. Writing and rehearsing the telling of my experience has been like non-stop exposure therapy and I think this will end up being a cathartic and healing experience. I admire the women who have spoken out in the #metoo movement and I feel that I need to do the same. Hopefully something I say will resonate with someone and help, even if only a tiny bit.

If someone had told me a year ago I’d be doing this I never would have believed it. Keeping fingers crossed that I don’t trip and grab the curtain and take the whole set down with me!
 
Aw, thanks, SheCat and Fadeaway! It just seems to be the right time. I still feel shaky when I tell it but I don’t think that will matter there. It’s a week away but I’m already a bundle of nerves! I go from feeling good about it to OMG WTF am I doing! I have to admit this has alleviated my PTSD symptoms. Instead of the physical feelings from the PTSD, I’m having them from nervousness about this, so I’m hoping this more positive association will last after this is over.
 
I am awed.

I am glad this is helping you. I think it’s wonderful. I wouldn’t be surprised if it touches a lot of people in the audience too ♥️.

Thank you for being brave: It’s a step for you that you might not realise is something for all of us.
 
Wow! I really appreciate all of your support! It means so much to me! I've been super jittery yesterday and today and I suppose that's to be expected. Memorizing this has sometimes been overwhelming. Nothing like committing the unsavory details of what was done to me by memory. Ugh. I can only repeat some of these sentences so many times before it makes me sick. Today I'm feeling a little down about it and way less confident, but your encouragement gave me a shot in the arm and reminds me why I wanted to do this in the first place, so thank you so much!

On a side note, am I evil for hoping that one of his friends sends him the video, wondering if it's about him? :sneaky:
 
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