I went away for the weekend with my husband and we were on our way to a nice restaurant for dinner. Then I got a text from my mother wishing me a happy birthday and seeking to have a relationship with me. I was shocked. And then I was saddened and stressed. This person was physically and emotionally abusive to me and did nothing when she found out I was sexually abused as a child. I was able to put it out of my mind for the rest of the trip and then I got home.
I have been having trouble sleeping which never helps my level of function and then the anxiety, jaw clenching and an episode of crying came. I haven't felt this depressed in a long time and couldn't go to work today. I thought about what things were like growing up and how abusive and mean she was. 5 years ago I cut her out of my life until she had some empathy for me and understanding of what she has done and she could apologize without making excuses which will probably never happen.
I am upset that one text could push me over the edge like this. For the past few weeks I had actually been thinking about letting her back into my life a little bit because the no contact thing makes it hard to have contact with other certain family members, it's stressful. I had also been feeling like a grudge holding bad person and didn't want to feel like that.
I was able to make an appointment for tomorrow with my therapist, I was very thankful for that. I also realize that my mother is too toxic of a person to let back into my life. I am trying to be gentle with myself.
Has something like this ever happened to anyone? A toxic person you cut off contacting you out of the blue and it resulted in some pretty negative effects on you? How did you deal with it?
I have been having trouble sleeping which never helps my level of function and then the anxiety, jaw clenching and an episode of crying came. I haven't felt this depressed in a long time and couldn't go to work today. I thought about what things were like growing up and how abusive and mean she was. 5 years ago I cut her out of my life until she had some empathy for me and understanding of what she has done and she could apologize without making excuses which will probably never happen.
I am upset that one text could push me over the edge like this. For the past few weeks I had actually been thinking about letting her back into my life a little bit because the no contact thing makes it hard to have contact with other certain family members, it's stressful. I had also been feeling like a grudge holding bad person and didn't want to feel like that.
I was able to make an appointment for tomorrow with my therapist, I was very thankful for that. I also realize that my mother is too toxic of a person to let back into my life. I am trying to be gentle with myself.
Has something like this ever happened to anyone? A toxic person you cut off contacting you out of the blue and it resulted in some pretty negative effects on you? How did you deal with it?