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Undiagnosed Abusive Relationship.. Ptsd?

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RiseAbove

New Here
Hello there

I've been thinking I have chronic fatigue syndrome for a while, but might actually have PTSD.
I've been in a physically and mentally abusive relationship and just managed to get out about two months ago.

I'm currently seeing a therapist who's gonna determine what is causing my sickness. She seems more interested in the fact that I'm too skinny and that I had a depression and social anxiety as a teenager. Also the fact that I have smoked a little hash. I'm worried I'm not gonna get the right help. She don't seem to be understanding my symptoms or interested in how the abuse has really affected me.

I have a great deal of physical symptoms of anxiety and these are triggered by stress, thinking about the events, my abuser, being in places we were together and general worry. Also when I think there are no triggers, but who can really say what's triggering me these days.
I do have a lot of dreams about the time with him, but most of them are filled more with confusion than fear. Is this normal?

I feel extra stress these days are making me sick. I constantly fear a catastophe has occurred, something has happened to my family, always seem to expect the worst outcome.

Can't sleep. I use sleeping aid, but wake up after few hours. I'm so tired. Can't focus. Can't think straight. Can barely write this. My whole body feels like it's burning right now. I feel so dizzy as I'm writing and my arm are starting to ache. I feel short of breath.

I don't think I'm depressed. I am interested in life but all these symptoms are making it difficult. I'm not suicidal.

I don't remember much of the traumas. I remember some things, but most are blurry and a lot is just a blank. A few memories are coming back slowly.

Right after I left him I was completely sure I was a psycopath and was extremely stressed out by this. I know now that I am not, but only after really examining myself. I can make decisions and I'm very unsure of myself and my thoughts.

Could this be PTSD? I've been dealing with the tiredness and pains and most of the anxiety symptoms on the list for a few years now. It's been a little better since I left him, but still there and especially triggered by memories of him.
 
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Your history of depression as a teen, history of anxiety, reaction to marijuana (and reason for smoking it) intrusive thoughts, etc., all serve as clues for him to properly diagnose you. Be as open as you can.

Blessings to you on your healing journey.
 
Thank you. I guess you are right. I'm just worried the wrong things are being focused on. But I guess she does know her job.
 
Go find a new therapist. Search out one who specializes in abuse and ptsd. It took me 4 therapist to find on that understood and I didn't feel like I was talking to a black hole trying to explain myself. When I finally found someone who knew what they were talking about, it was like a breath of air, she knew exactly what I was saying and I wasnt crazy. Years of abuse does some crazy things to our self perception. The other huge one for me was "Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Herman. That book was huge for me just because it gave some normalcy to all that was going through my head, I wasn't the crazy one and everything I was feeling was a normal reaction. Skip the first part about the history, just go the the meat of the book. I bet I have read it at least 30 times just to ground myself.
 
Hey,

I also sufferred an abusive relationship, I already had ptsd when I met him but did not know, he made it worse and I suffered a lot of what I thought were strange things, I never talked to anyone about my symptoms because he convinced me that I was simply psycho. I have since learned that what I am going through is normal, a lot of people suffer what I do and there is help to make it stop! the hyper-vigilance is something I just learned about and my T tells me that it comes from my body learning to be on high alert all the time due to being in an abusive relationship, this is something that can be unlearned, I need to retrain my brain so that it stops... I feel fear when I am not in danger because I had to be that way for years ... I have been reading a book that helped me immensely and seeing a therapist is def. key to recovery ...Good luck on your Journey !
 
I, too, was ragged by quite a number of doctors, etc., about my extreme skinny. Took me a very long time to admit that remembering to eat every day was important to healing my emotional condition. Now that I am more proficient in my self care, I can no longer doubt the correlation. I still forget to eat sometimes, but now I fix myself a snack quicker than I start chewing the neighbor's leg.

Take it in very small steps, RiseAbove. Early therapy is quite allot to take in. Easy does it.
 
From what you say here I think it's probably worthwhile for you to get a proper diagnoses. That would mean going to a psychiatrist and especially one who deals with trauma.

Even if it turns out it is an adjustment disorder (they diagnose this if there a lot of PTSD symptoms but if it is short of the criteria or threshold) then it is still considered trauma related and you need to be treated similarly.

What are this therapists qualifications, experience and what approach does she use? Does she have specific trauma training?
 
Find a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. Once you have a diagnosis, find a therapist who specializes in what you are dealing with. Too many therapists are generalists. If it's PTSD, you really need a specialist.
 
Hi RiseAbove,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

I agree with the other members that getting a diagnosis is important, as knowing what is wrong is the first step in knowing how to resolve it. There is a lot of information here about managing various symptoms and I hope you find them helpful.

Take care.

Debbie
 
Thank you so much for your responses! The therapist I'm going to does not have trauma training and I don't really trust her, cause she continually talks down to me, ridicules some of the stuff I tell her, claims my doctor has written things in my journal that he never did (I checked with him, it was not true) and cuts me off and is not interested when I talk about my symptoms, as a result of that she misunderstands a lot. For example, I told her I get tired fast and feels a little nauseous after being active and because of that she thought I was throwing up and connects that to my weight. I never told her I was throwing up but she won't let me finish talking and just makes her own conclusions. So I have now asked to be referred to a trauma expert and hopefully I can get a proper diagnosis.
Thanks again for your responses, hugs to all of y'all :)
 
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