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Addiction - Ptsd Related Or Not?

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Nicolette

Supporter Admin
I have read many posts over the years and there are Supporters and Sufferers who speak of addictions caused by or related to from PTSD.

In my mind I can logically reason how alcohol could become a PTSD addiction due to it's numbing effects and wiping out, I can understand weight issues due to depression (weight gain) and control (weight loss) etc but what I can't get my head around is pornography especially when in a relationship.

What I am referring to is Sufferers who 'allegedly' sit in front of a computer and watch porn while their spouse/partner etc is active in their life, even present. The side I read says this addiction is due to their PTSD whether it be the Sufferer or Supporter using those words/justification.

Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions on this - is a pornography addiction something which can be defined as related as a symptom of PTSD?
 
If trauma is the injury, 'dissociating' is the symptom, then 'addiction' would be the method....and then the mode could be alcohol, other drugs, food, pornography, computer games, etc.

The mode still feeds the pleasure centers, releasing opiates, regardless of whatever the supporting environment is. This is where, I think, codependecy is so harmful. Those in a relationship with a person can't help a person who is actively using their 'mode' of choice because they aren't working on their trauma, they're in flight from it.

Too often, people waste their life energy in believing they caused the 'mode', or can control the 'mode' for that person, or that the 'right' action, words, feelings, and other misguided efforts will 'cure' the 'mode'.

It's a receipe for repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome. Breaking free is accepting that we can't do much but set healthy boundaries and enforce them consistently, hoping that someday the natural consequences of their chosen 'mode' will one day outweigh their resistance to addressing their trauma.

I wish someone had told my Mom this.
 
I do think that pornography is especially harmful to loved ones trying to 'compete' with the addict for attention.

Due to the nature of it, the shame, secrecy, degradation, morality, sundering of social norms involved...well, the depths of self-debasement required of a codependent to even begin to enter a 'level playing field' in the competition with such an addiction is so harmful before adding in all the wreckage.
 
I think it may depend on whether the person's early childhood was subject to csa. That changes who the person would have been without that trauma. PTSD would affect someone without csa differently.

This is a little off topic, but I think that the romance novels that girls read in their formative years are as emotionally damaging as pornography is to boys in their formative years. Both set up unrealistic expectations, and the addictions keep them from forming proper relationships.

The girls crave having their emotional needs met, and the boys, learn to say whatever they have to, to bed a woman to meet their physical desires.
 
Bloom and AngelKJ definitely have a major point that I would not begin to second-guess or even try to support with a sustainable argument of my own because they are both right. But I am a carer. Being on the carer side, I can only speak of my experience or those lived by my PTSD partner and do have a different view.

In the Army as Combat and Traffic –Tech, Veteran and suffering from severe chronic PTSD, my partner - heavily medicated - hit a major libido wall for couple of years in a row. This was just prior meeting one another. For many years he had no GF, sex, interest, commitments, love, intentions or positive outlooks for the future... until he decided that, his life being miserable, wanted a change and a relationship.


Now please, be humoured a little bit here. It is different from what you may think but there is no offence here and great respect to all.


Since his manhood was put to deep sleep for years with no response when being alarmed, he did turn to porn to beat the guy until awaken. It took a good six months of viewing and letting his creative mind loose before he was comfortable and felt intimacy wood be fulfilled. He saw all kinds of hard-core depraving acts he did not really care for aside from awakening his libido and be the man he was should he meet a woman. And he met me.


Although he does not frequent these sites in my presence, we do talk about his turn-on-off due to meds, depressions, or wondering spirit (at the wrong time) VERY often. It is part of him understanding himself better; releasing stress and opening communication to bring us closer.


As mentioned, I am a carer. Did I ever think I would actually live this kind of relationship and intimacy? Having been married to a civil, unaffected-by-war-man for more than 20 years, I have been accustomed to proverbial sayings before or during intimacy: Not tonight; I am tired; Kids burned me; Oups, that time of the month. Or yes for a wild night; Quickies; Baby making. Or the thanks it was great; You are a great lover; Etc. Nope. I did not think I would actually discuss sex or meds at length, understand his porn views, libido problems and still feel precious to his eyes and that loved.

So in my case, porn served as a mix therapy to help bring intimacy to an enjoyable and lovable level. We are still together and quite frankly, cannot complain... although feel for him often when not getting his part of the deal.

My two cents here. Or maybe I missed the point. Please feel free to let me know and comment.


Inouk, Ze cat.
 
I meant no judgements on those who choose it, for whatever reasons. I'm only weighing in on those who are in a relationship with someone 'using' it addictively. I'm glad that it can be used as a tool of healing as well as pleasure. Please note that I am ONLY addressing adult - NOT child (NEVER 'ok')...

As a professional web person in alcohol recovery for over 20 years, my experiences haven't been with those using it that way. Hence, my posts are directed towards when 'it' -whatever 'it' is, gaming, tv, alcohol, etc. - becomes a maladaptive coping strategy.
 
Point very well made by sharing a different side of the porn! Your man is blessed to have you as an understanding wife. There are SO many sides to consider, and generalization is dangerous.
Congrats on staying together!!
 
I either read or was told some time in the far distant past that certain personalities (possibly genetic traits) provided a predisposition towards addiction (choose your poison). So why does one man drink lots of beer/wine and not become an alcoholic where the other man (oops or woman) does? I think from memory it was about becoming addicted to 'whatever'. So 'if' thats true and someone was of that addictive personality, and was exposed to porn, he would easily get hooked. Praps moreso than someone else.
 
The only way it is related to me is that I did many drugs over a 17 year period, It wasn't until the panic attacks and the diagnosis that I actually stopped using and abusing.
 
My father is a violent alcoholic so I have really tried not to abuse alcohol. When I was in my 20s, though, I was heavily involved in the club scene and I partied all night, drank, smoked weed, did psychedelics, and a lot of ecstasy. I have never tried heroin, cocaine, or meth because drug addicts are not trusted in my neighborhood and the usual punishment is a severe beating and few weeks in the hospital.

I also cheated on my girlfriends quite often. I didn't realize it then but I guess it was the adrenalin of the cheating as well as the sex without emotional attachment. I didn't really understand that until I started learning about PTSD.

My biggest addiction is adrenalin. I believe the main reason is that in my old neighborhood, there is only one rule: don't ever mess with someone that is crazier than yourself. So I tried to be the craziest. I did stupid stuff like hang off multi-story buildings by the tips of my fingers or taking psychedelics and running back and forth across a 10-lane freeway on a Friday night. (That was fun.)

When I was 12, I started hitchhiking to different cities after a friend was killed. My friends told me I was crazy because it was dangerous but I told them that I had been stabbed on the way to school and my friends were getting shot, so what was the difference? My neighborhood was more dangerous than hitchhiking and hitchhiking was far more fun and interesting.

Living without adrenalin is the most difficult thing. When I was younger and more self-destructive, I would get drunk and intentionally walk across gang-infested neighborhoods in which the likelihood of getting shot was very high. I would think "What's the difference? Who cares? I should have died a long time ago. So, bring it." And somehow I made it home. But the adrenalin felt soooo good. I miss that feeling the most.
 
The addiction changes the chemicals in our brain whether its a chemical addiction or a behavioral addiction-it acts almost the same. During active addiction, there is no real intimacy. Addiction ends up controlling the persons life and often the addiction is a secret. Even when others suspect or know the addiction, addicts seem convinced that their behavior goes unnoticed yet have great fear of being found out. I am not talking about the person who has abused alcohol in college or other time and then corrected the abuse, or the christmas cookie binger, or porn for wake up.

I think it is most dangerous when someone finds an addictive behavior to self sooth. Most of us have done that with or without ptsd. Food, alcohol, gambling are all open and almost acceptable in our society. Some parents start rewarding with food, or providing treats while neglecting their kids needs. There is something in each of our brains that says, ahhh pleasurable. Its different for all of us. Some people have used masturbation for self soothing at an early age and learned that it made them feel better. It is said that gambling although compared to cocaine use, more resembles an orgasm (tension building and let down). Sexual addicts have the same after effects as other addicts-shame.

What I have seen often is the changing of addictions (spending/shopping) included based on where they are in life and what is most acceptable. I think any sexual addiction is fueled the same way as other addiction. Often porn addiction progresses to more escalating and risky behavior (such as frequenting prostitutes), just as the alcoholic increases consumption. I think that this form of addiction is worse for the partner than other forms of addiction because the partner thinks of it as sex and not the drug of choice. I think its all the same though. Its also affecting more women than in the past and will likely get worse in the years to come. Now there are even sights such as ashley madison dot com for married people to cheat.
 
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