A
Adriftatsea
Hi All,
So, my husband and I's life is turned upside down right now.
A little background. My husband suffers from CPTSD due to trauma all the way from childhood through early adulthood (I know it's not in the DSM 5) and was officially diagnosed about 2 years ago after his PTSD finally consumed and broke him. Before then he had been diagnosed over the past 10 years with anxiety, depression, OCD and ADHD. The past 2 years have been especially rough on him (unable to work, unable to really function day to day and it's only seemed to have gotten worse, moved into a new house we realized was not healthy for him, etc) and fully realizing how his past is effecting him today. He did find a therapist to work with and started EMDR; however, had to stop because he was becoming so triggered she felt it was dangerous to continue until the triggers became a little less consuming (I think is how I'm trying to word it).
We had talked about moving for 6+ months and decided to act on it, weighing pros/cons. His family being a trigger, not a lot of services/help for PTSD where we live, minimal family support here, trying to find a PTSD friendly medical marijuana state (please don't judge as he is not a 'dope head or pot head' and it really relieves his nightmares, allows his brain to slow down enough to really process thoughts/ideas he has, helps him sleep, and really just feel more 'normal' without the side effects of bigpharma), and a place that has a little more sunshine.
Well we got our house sold, had job interviews/opportunities lined up for me, and moved and were excited to start making some new memories and for him to be able to focus on himself for a while without all the triggers of where we were before and trying to make new friends. The move ended up bad because of another medical issue and we came back home because we still had insurance here to get him medical treatment. Now we're completely destabilized (I know this is very, very bad for him and us), living with my mother-in-law, and trying to figure out how to go forward from here. So we completely went the opposite way of what we were hoping to accomplish.
Talking about moving forward and debating on moving away again or staying here we just keep going in circles. His anxiety is through the roof (have an appt to try to get some meds to help), he goes between a freeze and flight mode primarily. I know we've already maybe a huge mistake and it's about moving forward and I'm especially terrified about making the wrong decision for us and for him. If we move, I know it will be extremely hard on him until we get more stabilized and could take him months (if he doesn't decide to just run/flight mode before that) and on the other hand, I know staying here, there's more triggers, bad memories, etc. And I know the saying "you are where you go." Just so frustrating trying to decide should we stay, should we go and with him going back and fourth it's difficult to feel like I'm making the right decision for us.
Everyday I see the toll it's taking on him and I'm not sure how to be a better supporter right now. Just wondering if anybody has any wisdom, advice, experiences, etc that they could share.
Sorry it started to get rambling...
So, my husband and I's life is turned upside down right now.
A little background. My husband suffers from CPTSD due to trauma all the way from childhood through early adulthood (I know it's not in the DSM 5) and was officially diagnosed about 2 years ago after his PTSD finally consumed and broke him. Before then he had been diagnosed over the past 10 years with anxiety, depression, OCD and ADHD. The past 2 years have been especially rough on him (unable to work, unable to really function day to day and it's only seemed to have gotten worse, moved into a new house we realized was not healthy for him, etc) and fully realizing how his past is effecting him today. He did find a therapist to work with and started EMDR; however, had to stop because he was becoming so triggered she felt it was dangerous to continue until the triggers became a little less consuming (I think is how I'm trying to word it).
We had talked about moving for 6+ months and decided to act on it, weighing pros/cons. His family being a trigger, not a lot of services/help for PTSD where we live, minimal family support here, trying to find a PTSD friendly medical marijuana state (please don't judge as he is not a 'dope head or pot head' and it really relieves his nightmares, allows his brain to slow down enough to really process thoughts/ideas he has, helps him sleep, and really just feel more 'normal' without the side effects of bigpharma), and a place that has a little more sunshine.
Well we got our house sold, had job interviews/opportunities lined up for me, and moved and were excited to start making some new memories and for him to be able to focus on himself for a while without all the triggers of where we were before and trying to make new friends. The move ended up bad because of another medical issue and we came back home because we still had insurance here to get him medical treatment. Now we're completely destabilized (I know this is very, very bad for him and us), living with my mother-in-law, and trying to figure out how to go forward from here. So we completely went the opposite way of what we were hoping to accomplish.
Talking about moving forward and debating on moving away again or staying here we just keep going in circles. His anxiety is through the roof (have an appt to try to get some meds to help), he goes between a freeze and flight mode primarily. I know we've already maybe a huge mistake and it's about moving forward and I'm especially terrified about making the wrong decision for us and for him. If we move, I know it will be extremely hard on him until we get more stabilized and could take him months (if he doesn't decide to just run/flight mode before that) and on the other hand, I know staying here, there's more triggers, bad memories, etc. And I know the saying "you are where you go." Just so frustrating trying to decide should we stay, should we go and with him going back and fourth it's difficult to feel like I'm making the right decision for us.
Everyday I see the toll it's taking on him and I'm not sure how to be a better supporter right now. Just wondering if anybody has any wisdom, advice, experiences, etc that they could share.
Sorry it started to get rambling...
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