I'm a pretty smart guy. I have been really confused the walls I hit. I have always thought I could think my way past the walls.
Well, I now see that thinking fast and hard doesn't move mountains.
This is what I am coming to understand. My thinking gets ahead of my feelings. When that happens my feelings turn into a restriction, not a bad restriction, just one that I haven't recognized, or even denied. Heck, my feelings aren't a restriction anymore. They have a purpose.
There's this book by Chris Crutcher, called "The Crazy Horse Electric Game." It's a coming of age book about an athlete who is disabled in a boating accident and has to learn how to function with one side of his body partially paralyzed.
He ends up in a homeless shelter for teens. He was in a lot of denial of his condition. There learns by playing basketball, and with some sage advise form a coach, that to function normally he needs to balance out the normal part with the paralyzed part.
I can relate to that. I have lived with a pretty severe emotional disability. I don't equate my emotions to the paralysis any more. It's how it's been in the past, but I've gone through a lot of healing (Thanks, T). I recognize my thinking as being very impatient It's been so frustrating to have an emotional disability that I didn't understand, and even denied.
So now I am pacing myself mentally. When I race ahead, overthink, or forward think too much, I'm not allowing myself to adjust emotionally.
I got this quote online: "Sometimes we’re subconsciously afraid we’ll succeed and then we’d have to deal with all the disruption (growth) and change that follows success." -Marc Chernoff
Last year I was forced into this "disruption" at work. I really wanted to keep my job the same, with my ideas trumping those of other. The business kept moving forward regardless. Eventually I had to let go, not of the job, but of the idea that what I had created was permanent.
My resistance was against anything new. The new meant disruption. For me the disruption was emotional. I have always believed I could handle the changes in process, location, or responsibility. At an intellectual level I could. At an emotional I always got by but kicked. I denied that it was hard.
Now, it seems as if the handicap is not so restrictive. I am moving forward with the business, rather that, well, being an anchor it had to drag along. I'm emotionally adjusting.
We'll see where this goes.
Well, I now see that thinking fast and hard doesn't move mountains.
This is what I am coming to understand. My thinking gets ahead of my feelings. When that happens my feelings turn into a restriction, not a bad restriction, just one that I haven't recognized, or even denied. Heck, my feelings aren't a restriction anymore. They have a purpose.
There's this book by Chris Crutcher, called "The Crazy Horse Electric Game." It's a coming of age book about an athlete who is disabled in a boating accident and has to learn how to function with one side of his body partially paralyzed.
He ends up in a homeless shelter for teens. He was in a lot of denial of his condition. There learns by playing basketball, and with some sage advise form a coach, that to function normally he needs to balance out the normal part with the paralyzed part.
I can relate to that. I have lived with a pretty severe emotional disability. I don't equate my emotions to the paralysis any more. It's how it's been in the past, but I've gone through a lot of healing (Thanks, T). I recognize my thinking as being very impatient It's been so frustrating to have an emotional disability that I didn't understand, and even denied.
So now I am pacing myself mentally. When I race ahead, overthink, or forward think too much, I'm not allowing myself to adjust emotionally.
I got this quote online: "Sometimes we’re subconsciously afraid we’ll succeed and then we’d have to deal with all the disruption (growth) and change that follows success." -Marc Chernoff
Last year I was forced into this "disruption" at work. I really wanted to keep my job the same, with my ideas trumping those of other. The business kept moving forward regardless. Eventually I had to let go, not of the job, but of the idea that what I had created was permanent.
My resistance was against anything new. The new meant disruption. For me the disruption was emotional. I have always believed I could handle the changes in process, location, or responsibility. At an intellectual level I could. At an emotional I always got by but kicked. I denied that it was hard.
Now, it seems as if the handicap is not so restrictive. I am moving forward with the business, rather that, well, being an anchor it had to drag along. I'm emotionally adjusting.
We'll see where this goes.