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Agoraphobia Help Please

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Hello to my extended family :),

Here's to hoping one of you can be of help to me...

My ptsd and anxiety symptoms have mostly been getting worse & my latest diagnosis has been "slight agoraphobia". Mainly because I am afraid to go places for the fear that I will hav an anxiety attack, not be able to leave quick enough or something/someone might scare me.

I still cannot hold down a job but with the help of family I have been able to move into an apartment.

My problem is that I end up doing mostly nothing every day. I have this constant feeling if having to survive to the minute and it takes up all my energy!

Every so often u get a burst of energy and over consuming boredom and am able to do something... But it's taking way too long.

Any ideas on how to get ones self out of that funk? To be able to force yourself into the right mind space?

Thank you for always being there for me when I need it the most.
 
I'm not sure if I have any words of wisdom...but...Is your main frustration not being able to do things (eg too tired) or that you can't leave your apartment (agoraphobia).
 
I'm not sure how you make yourself "able" to force yourself into the right frame of mind. Well, in my case, it was simply a matter of "do it" in that I had no choice. I didn't have friends or family to rely on at the time so if I didn't force myself to go out, then I wouldn't have even survived. I did my own exposure therapy of sorts. I think that it can just boil down to forcing yourself through it. Yes, it SUCKS, but the alternative is to give in and then your symptoms get worse. Leaving my apartment for 45 minutes was a 2 day process. I'd wake up in the morning, get ready, leave enough time for the inevitable panic attack and recovery period, go out and do whatever I needed to do, come back home and crash for the rest of the day, and then spend the next day recovering. It was extremely tiring, and took all my energy, but I literally had no choice. I had to cope with the panic attacks and anxiety, and over time, my symptoms got better.
 
I'm not sure if I have any words of wisdom...but...Is your main frustration not being able to do things (eg too tired) or that you can't leave your apartment (agoraphobia).

Frustration is a good word. It's more about the anxiety & overwhelming feeling that comes with feeling the overwhelming pressure that I have to get so much stuff done and don't feel that I have the capability.
 
I didn't have friends or family to rely on at the time so if I didn't force myself to go out, then I wouldn't have even survived.

I actually don't really have help either in the sense that I moved out of state and away from family and friends. And I feel extreme guilt for allowing my mother to pay for anything for me because she doesn't have much to begin with.

I did my own exposure therapy of sorts. I think that it can just boil down to forcing yourself through it. Yes, it SUCKS, but the alternative is to give in and then your symptoms get worse. Leaving my apartment for 45 minutes was a 2 day process. I'd wake up in the morning, get ready, leave enough time for the inevitable panic attack and recovery period, go out and do whatever I needed to do, come back home and crash for the rest of the day, and then spend the next day recovering. It was extremely tiring, and took all my energy, but I literally had no choice. I had to cope with the panic attacks and anxiety, and over time, my symptoms got better.

So just tough it out, day after day, and hope that one day it will get better? Has it gotten better for you?

Thank you for your replies
 
If I may make a suggestion? . . . Give your self permission to DO NOTHING except one small thing each day. Do that thing consciously and do it well. Leave all the rest of the stuff for later - watch TV, listen to music, draw, make cupcakes, do anything you want to do and let go of thinking you have to do something.

So much healing comes into us when we're able to relax. That overwhelming pressure of feeling like there are so many things to be done . . . is untrue. Stuff will still clamor for your attention tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. As long as no babies are being harmed, no one's bleeding or starving everthing else can wait. Just relax and give yourself the gift of patience.

I've had periods where I could only make myself make my bed. But I made myself make it soon after I got up (and after I took a nap, if I did) and made it look perfect and inviting for next time. From there, I made the aim to actually take care of my clothes (hang them up, put them in the hamper, or in away in a drawer) rather than laying on the floor. After a while I came to appreciate a nicely made bed when I saw it and got a bit bored, so then made the new aim to wash my dishes as they became soiled. After a while, you might see you are able to do more things and that will help give you the confidance to do other things.

Just take baby steps one-at-a-time and don't worry and treat yourself lovingly. You deserve to.
Take care,
Drew
 
I have been there. Spent several years there in fact. Honestly, on-line support was my biggest help and the fact that I was forced into going out for groceries and such because I didn't have any help. At that time I also went (well was supposed to go) once a month for therapy. It was just something that improved with time. I still don't go out often enough for my therapists liking but I don't have anxiety over it anymore. It did take a few years to get to that point though.

As far as having energy goes, I didn't have it for a long time. I would wake up with severe anxiety and then be drained the rest of the day. I finally ran across an article on adrenal fatigue and burnout. It usually comes from experiencing trauma or periods of intense stress. Since you are here I am guessing you have experienced that. I started natural treatment for that and started taking vitamins and my energy levels started coming back.

I am trying to link to a site that has a quiz on adrenal fatigue but it won't let me.
 
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I don't think you should force yourself. I do think we need to push ourselves. There's a difference.

I'm dealing with anxiety and OCD and I have to work on one tiny step at a time. Anything bigger becomes counterproductive because of the backlash. But I keep working consistently on tiny changes. They add up so I'm moving forward. I might keep things as they are for a week or so to reinforce the progress I've just made, or because I'm having to face other challenges and it would be too much. Apart from that I don't let myself stand still. I don't let myself slide back either.

I don't think it should be so much that it's brutal, but I do think we have to go outside our comfort zone continually in order to make positive changes. That needs to be in a structured way, not sporadic or depending on the day. We need a plan and we need to practise skills in order to carry it out.

What sort of things help you? The key thing is finding approaches and skills that work for you. Do you have phone or online therapy? There are therapists who specialise in anxiety who work this way with clients. Or do you use any workbooks or other resources? For example cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), or techniques for anxiety.
 
For some people, pushing themselves works best. For others, being gentle to themselves works best.

I am from the gentle camp. I tend to push myself too hard and then collapse. I have learnt that I need to listen to my needs and treat myself gently. If I need to spend the day in bed and I have the opportunity to do so, then I will.

This is not a PTSD thing, but when I have the flu, I feel horrible then at some point I start feeling bored. So to me , boredom is the first sign of health.

With this in mind, treat your self gently and feel proud that you have treated yourself gently enough to reach boredom and use those moments of energy to set yourself up towards doing the things that you one day hope to do.
 
Just to explain a bit more where I'm coming from, I'm talking specifically about severe anxiety and phobia. Maybe other people are also talking about their experience of incapacitating anxiety. That isn't clear to me. I know that my own experience of very low energy and lack of ability to do things due to other reasons like depression is different from my experience of it due to incapacitating anxiety for a long time.

That level of anxiety doesn't get better on it's own. In fact, it can feed on itself and get worse if it isn't addressed. That's what I've found and I understand it's also the medical view.

As I said, I don't believe in pushing so hard that it's counterproductive. That's why a plan and skills are needed.

Other people may have different views and experiences of this. Of course that's fine. I just wanted to clarify that I'm talking particularly about incapacitating anxiety rather than anything else.
 
I've had trouble with this myself. What helped me was to give myself a reward for the first few times I left, like buying something that I wouldn't normally buy like ice cream or McDonald's. It's still hard for me to do this, but it's a lot better than it was. I found out that moving to an unfamiliar location is what caused me to isolate myself, but it took me actually leaving several times to figure this out.
 
So just tough it out, day after day, and hope that one day it will get better? Has it gotten better for you?

I know it sounds like just "toughing it out" but its actually a bit more therapeutic in that it is a type of exposure therapy. You are forcing yourself to go out and interact in the world (even if it's just a short walk down the block or whatever) so that you can prove to yourself that you can do it and deal with the anxiety when it does arise. Yes, mine got better fairly quickly, in a matter of maybe 5 or so months? I don't have problems with going out in public and panicking anymore. Agoraphobia is one of those things that just builds upon itself and if you don't work on getting better, it tends to just get worse and worse and before you know it you're a prisoner in your own home.

Do you have a therapist who can work with you on this? I think that CBT would really help as well. That's what I used mainly when I was overcoming my worst anxiety problems.
 
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