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Alternative Dictionary Of Therapy (humor)

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Sobriety = The state making you see the insanity of your life.
Martial Arts = Practice to do if you can't punch sobriety and the world around you in the face.
Mindfulness = Awareness of the nearest booze store's opening and closing hours.
 
CBT is really making yourself do things that range from unappealing to miserable until you stop asking why you are supposed to be doing it. and then forget why you wanted to avoid it so much.

Is running track in high school PE
CBT therapy? Getting married was CBT!!
Is getting shot between the eyes with botox at a party full of drunk nurses CBT?

I no longer believe that its a good idea to make myself do things that really feel like a bad idea. Im okay with reading about other people doing things that sound like a bad idea though. Unless they are afraid of airplanes or public condiments on restraunt tables , they should probably just be cautious anyway.

They are mistaking the endorphin rush you get from not freaking out while you try to find a hotel in shanghai with cue cards you cant read, progress.

Im therapy free and Im happy with that for now!
 
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Child Parts;

Imagine a three hour car journey with assorted children between six months and ten years old confined in the back of a small car:

"He's doing..."
"Give it back. She's taken my..."
"That's not fair..."
"Are we nearly there yet?"
"He's ruined everything!"
"I want to go home!"
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Now imagine those same squabbling, indignant children, confined to the back of a skull, on a journey that takes several decades...

Conflicted?
That would be an understatement
 
Euphoria: When you no longer give a f*ck and dance wildly naked on the hill!

Depression: When in the days of dancing wildly naked on the hill you trip on a stone, roll down the hill covered in poison ivy

Omnipresent: when you are aware of everything at the same time.. the parts that are itching like a son of snitch and the ones that are not. :D
 
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