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Am I Doing This Right?

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I apologize for the long post in advance. I just want to make sure this is explained enough.
My boyfriend and I have known each other for around 7 years. Much of that time was spent not in contact as he was still enlisted in the Marine Corps, I was in a relationship and we kept easily falling out of touch. It wasn't until a year ago that we started dating. He had been out of the Marines for about 5 years and was very up front with me about his PTSD. He's on a couple different medications, goes for his 3 month check in with the psych at the VA consistently, and is doing just okay with it. A few months ago on a rare night that I was not with him he had an "episode". Tripped going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Then he blacked out. When he came to he was sitting on his stairs crying. His mother told me when she went to check on him upon hearing what sounded like someone breaking in, she found his room trashed. 55" flatscreen broken in half, drums torn apart, bureau flipped upside down, the works. He has no memory of any of it. He had his meds tweaked since then and life moved on. But I'm noticing one of his triggers seems to be when he feels he has too many things to do at once. He gets overwhelmed. He closes in on himself, won't let anybody in. He tells me he doesn't know when he's in these moods because to him everything seems normal. But to me it's not, he doesn't talk, won't look me in the eye, won't touch me. Recently he's been off one of his meds due to some VA bullshit. We are waiting for his refill still after 2 weeks. The other night we had an argument. He was in a mood, and I wasn't expecting it. I asked him what was wrong, only to hear back repeatedly "nothing". I'm used to it at this point but we had spoken before about a quick warning when they come on like that. I just want to know what I'm walking into. I got frustrated because I didn't get a warning. In your opinion Is that asking too much of him? He went into himself again, and I had to walk out that night because I didn't want to say or do something to make matters worse for either of us. He told me the next day the only reason he felt bad was because no matter how hard he tried that night he couldn't get angry. He simply didn't care at all, he had no emotion and barely remembered what I said to him. As long as he cares about me as a person that is perfectly fine with me. I've never asked him what caused his PTSD, nor will I ever. If he feels comfortable he will tell me when and if he's ready. But I'd like to know what goes on inside his head at times he closes up. Is it okay for me to ask that? I would also like him to start going to therapy, he tells me with the VA it's too hard and complicated but I feel that talking to somebody professional would really help him. How do I broach this topic without being naggy and having him freak out about yet another to-do list? The psych he sees now is only for his meds. They don't even try to get him to talk about coping mechanisms. This is all new for me, so any feedback would be so greatly appreciated!
 
Welcome to the Forum! friendly :hug: (hug) offered.

A few months ago on a rare night that I was not with him he had an "episode". Tripped going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Then he blacked out. When he came to he was sitting on his stairs crying. His mother told me when she went to check on him upon hearing what sounded like someone breaking in, she found his room trashed. 55" flatscreen broken in half, drums torn apart, bureau flipped upside down, the works. He has no Link Removed of any of it.

I could be wrong, but this does sounds like dissociation. While my own ptsd is non-combat related, I do myself suffer from dissociation.

I am sure there are a few who will also comment on this thread.


---SeanGeo
 
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Depending on where he lives, the VA may totally suck about getting him appointments with a therapist. they cut my vet's appointments back to pretty much nothing. If he is 100%, you may want to encourage him to get Tricare for Life and use it to see a civilian. That is what I'm hoping for my vet.
 
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