Hi all
I've been trying to read up on this but I can't find any information apart from my own hunch.
I've been away from my country( where I spent the majority of my life) for a while now and for the first time in my life I can see my entire past a lot more clearer, frol 3 years old to now. lacking many blank spaces (that I usually have to probe a lot to ' fill in the blanks'). But it seems it's come at a cost.
Along with another major life event soon.
I feel depressed, I can see the times in my life where people were out to destroy me, I get flash backs, I can't sleep properly, and I feel suicidal. It's all come to me like a wave and I feel like it's enough. I feel new resentments to people close to me during my life, because I can see things from retrospect now.
I don't know what to do. If people around me even understand that I could suddenly get so bad when somehow it should be the opposite.
Because I feel so pessimistic about everything I'm skeptical to believe I'm healing but it's possible since healing can be painful.
If anyone has some website links(or how to get there) or personal experiences or some blogs that would be much appreciated. At least if I can't find help, which I can't professionally for a while, I would know I'm not alone.
Thank you in advance ,
I've been trying to read up on this but I can't find any information apart from my own hunch.
I've been away from my country( where I spent the majority of my life) for a while now and for the first time in my life I can see my entire past a lot more clearer, frol 3 years old to now. lacking many blank spaces (that I usually have to probe a lot to ' fill in the blanks'). But it seems it's come at a cost.
Along with another major life event soon.
I feel depressed, I can see the times in my life where people were out to destroy me, I get flash backs, I can't sleep properly, and I feel suicidal. It's all come to me like a wave and I feel like it's enough. I feel new resentments to people close to me during my life, because I can see things from retrospect now.
I don't know what to do. If people around me even understand that I could suddenly get so bad when somehow it should be the opposite.
Because I feel so pessimistic about everything I'm skeptical to believe I'm healing but it's possible since healing can be painful.
If anyone has some website links(or how to get there) or personal experiences or some blogs that would be much appreciated. At least if I can't find help, which I can't professionally for a while, I would know I'm not alone.
Thank you in advance ,