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Anger vs. Being Too Passive!

Discussion in 'Dysregulation' started by pandora, Aug 5, 2007.

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  1. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

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    I am just wodering if anyone else experiences the opposite of having extreme anger...kind of like when you take it out on yourself and don't release any frustration and anger to the point of making yourself ill. i very seldom get angry but i have chronic headaches and pain. Anyone relate? If i do get angry or yell i feel EXTREMELY guilty and it seems like i just hold it all in and maybe it is coming out in other ways.
     
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  3. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Pandora,

    Yes it is hard, but it's all about being assertive....Not using anger, and not letting people walk all over you. It's hard to come to that fine line, but after the first time it gets easier.

    My girlfriend has 3 teenagers(that in itself would drive me batty:crazy:) she was such a push over, her kids are spoiled. She is now learning to say NO, and to stick to her decisions. Like I said it isn't easy, but it can be done.

    Wendy
     
  4. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

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    Hi Pandora,

    I think (and I'm still learning) this has to do with a) your level of self-esteem, b) maintaining your emotional boundaries c) having the confidence to implement those boundaries.

    I don't know if you see a therapist, but I think this is an important thing to mention. She/He could explain how boundaries work. When my T did, it was a bit of a lightbulb moment for me.

    Even a google search on 'boundaries' should bring up some information.

    Best of luck.
     
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