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Anniversary is Making me Feel Awful!

Discussion in 'General' started by pandora, Sep 8, 2007.

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  1. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

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    I have been tryin g with all my might to push this from my thoughts and pretend like it is not the date! So..now that it has not worked......I have been thinking a lot about the assault and I still get the sickening feeling.
    I have worked hard on this! Why does the anniversary still hold me? It is this weekend, like a lot of years ago!
    It is funny...i tried for years to pretend that this was not me...it was a dream...it really didn't happen...I was just mixed up!
    Now that I realize that only makes things worse...i have to realize that the anniversary date is just a trigger....it is not happening now! It sure was easier pretending. The consequences are pretty tough when you realize that this is totally not healthy and will one day come back to bite you in the ass! As it is today!
     
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  3. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

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    I'm no expert on PTSD Pandora but I think the key word I see here is pretend.......if you keep pretending that something didn't happen (avoidance) how can you ever deal with it, heal it and move past it......? Just a thought. Hang in there.
     
  4. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    She is right you know? Ignoring it is what makes us so ill.

    You need to let out what you smelled, heard, felt, surroundings... What you feel now is real. Real vivid memories. It is OK as memories do not hurt you. You were hurt in the past. This is memory, it cannot hurt you now. You may not be able to let go of this pain and fear though until you let this out. Express and reprocess.
     
  5. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

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    I see how that sounds but I am working on it and I have wrote about itin depth....i am still writing aabout it..I guess I am just frustrated that this date still bothers me after such a long time. I guess when I said pretending it was like i didn't want to even acknowledge it was the date because I hate that I still get such a an awful feeling from this reminder.
     
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