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Any people who escaped felons, human trafficers,and satanists out here ?

Discussion in 'Anonymous' started by Vugik, Jun 13, 2017.

  1. Epucob

    Epucob Anonymous

    or homeless childhood experiences. Just curious because someone suggested you are never alone and people have "common" problems. Of course that is just the beginning. Not generally having PTSD issues anymore but I found the statement a generalization and isolation seems a most healing tool against ignorance. My past will always be, and it generally will not mesh with people however as long as people do their job at work (otherwise I tend to be the workhorse and try to stay focused - almost considering me offering personal speech is rather their punishment as it seems to create cognitive dissonance in people). So I isolate and I do not care. Plus the fact I recently escaped abusive situations to an ungodly level including stalkers. Anyhow, I do not want to share more and I am not looking for stories of depth because the stories frankly do not really help in detail personally I feel. Just testing her theory but she was not speaking to me directly anyhow. Just saying one size does not fit all is a true statement. Despite this I acknowledge the truly limiting factors -of isolation but the story is so repulsive, and ridiculous I understand why people would like to believe it is not true and I also think its so ridiculous it has broken almost all faith in all systems but my own arms, wish they were stronger but its what I have and thus far I am still alive.
     
    hithere and Parley like this.
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  3. Bowur

    Bowur Anonymous

    What's normal, or common, just depends on where one is standing. And whom you are standing next to.
     
    hithere likes this.
  4. Efo

    Efo Anonymous

    I grew up in a cult headed by my mom & step dad with their own made up religion and beliefs said to be christianity but very simular to satanist (and some other cults thrown in now that I am well researched on cults), but they would say "God said to because...". Also had their own bibles, followers,, rituals including sacrifice (most I brought into adulthood - along with their punishment counterpart), punishments that had me near death almost everytime and which almost always included mulalating my gentials. I was trafficked from age 9 to 19 (prostitued which included seducing grown men on my own, rented out for whole days at a time, and forced to make child porn...including with beastiality). I was chained up and locked in a closet for days. Made to sleep outdoors and chained outside in the rain in winter. I was only fed dog food and if "allowed" to eat (which I had to earn) it was out of the garbage. I also was not allowed to brush my teeth and commonly stole food, tooth brushes, tooth paste and other not allowed essentials. They also thought I had gotten preg, though no one bothered to check and forced a possible homemade DYI abortion with a BBQ fork.

    In short.

    Though I was introduced to the cult at 9, it really started when i was 6.

    I too was in search of those that understood my exact trauma and the unique challenges growing up in a cult brings and I did find a few here but over time I learned that though most cannot relate to my whole, trauma and unique challenges, many can relate to pieces of it. Such as rape, trafficked, forced to make porn, tortured, beaten/neglected, so forth. And broken down like that, it is easier to gain support and work through one small issue at a time rather the entire thing in one chunk.
     
    provencepearl likes this.
  5. Epucob

    Epucob Anonymous

    Sorry to hear Efo (original poster not sure how this thread works). Yeh, counseling is a joke and waste of time - I have occasionally benefited more from this site. I have thought group counseling would be a bad thing also because I do not want to dwell on it, and frankly I do not have time. Sometimes I supposed I get locked into a pissy mood I just vent generally online on an account I have no friends. And generally do not have problems at work apart from things that would bother anyone doing many times more than their share of the work load because work is a bit of salvation for me and my hope for my children. I also thought group counseling apart from time demands would fuel a deeper rage.. so I generally avoid it. I hear what you are saying when life has many complicated twists and turns you have to break it up even to comprehend the mess yourself. I do not hide my feelings about societal failure, as I attempt to advocate for a better future. I suppose I had some hope maybe I could do more active role to combat some of it but my stature may be the most limiting factor at this point. Martial arts and exercise when time allows me to focus. And education and trying to channel my kids to see through potential lies and grasp what is appropriate for them or anyone for that matter - but it is my life, I refuse to shut down or lie. I do not ever want to have another stalker or moron just accept me without full disclosure to later have a convenient reason to either further abuse, steal from me and then throw me penniless to the street as my last ex did. (I borrowed him money he intended to rip off, we had a child and his lawyer forced him to give it back.. of course I could not afford a lawyer - being tossed like a yoyo with a new baby between abusive situations) It has enabled me to get a secure environment barely affordable but the security system is mandatory for my sense of security. I will get there. Thanks for sharing I have heard some horror stories about trafficked kids- the situation I faced I escaped after 3 days and there were no cages only threats. The Satanist/ Felon sheltered me a couple years.. but this sense they could have intervened and having officers with knowledge of the situation, and the sense it was engineered... the being left for dead and no rape charges on the 3 men and watching all these rapes happen with no care or prosecutions and counselors failure to do as they claimed to step in and testify.. what a crock. Anyhow.. keeping myself secure is for everyone, my trust is shot.. I like to dream about owning a lie detector because there are so many messed up people I do not even care If I miss out on associating with them. I fell walking away from as much as possible has brought me new freedoms and realizing I need to defend myself when no one else will...and my kids also. But learning tact with buried angst .. I do my best. Anyhow hope you are doing better than what you went through and thanks at least for helping me know I am not the only one, and.. I hope there are not to many more. Occasionally trying to put some scope and perspective help me in mediation if I have to go there, but venting is good to. Take care.
     
    ladee likes this.
  6. Epucob

    Epucob Anonymous

    I went in to the center for victims of torture.. but they claim rapes including broken rib, choking till blackout, being s(I don't even want to write some of it.. was NOT a qualification? Oh why I wonder.. because abusing and torturing women and children apparently must be acceptable and too numerous for them to handle ? If I did not ..fight, and utilize fight or flight so many times I would be dead. Counselors want to stare at clocks and me too.. but moving on, is hard with little time would love to pour myself into some studies and afford more for my angels - my kids. Or take them on a vacation I could talk about instead of old stories. Friends ? sure yeh whatever.. entertainment self care and personal medical studies making my life better far faster than years wasted at doctors. If I was not a fighter man I would be dead.
     
    shimmerz and ladee like this.
  7. Sazuwa

    Sazuwa Anonymous

    Other way around. There are countless resources for rape, abuse, & domestic violence.

    There are very few resources for torture, trafficking, kidnapping & ransom, mountaineering accidents, etc.

    If an organization is set up to help mountain climbers process their trauma? No matter how much it felt like falling into a crevasse being abused, or even if your car was wedged into a crevasse in your MVA, the mountaineering society will direct you to seek help from organizations that specialize in abuse or car accidents.

    Huge organizations, or organizations that deal in many different types of traumas, will gladly take on many different types of trauma histories. But tiny organizations that have a very specific focus? Stay within that focus. Not because every other trauma is acceptable, but because every other trauma is not what they do, and is what so many others do.
     
  8. Cocab

    Cocab Anonymous

    I know what you mean.

    Do you find that you are more skeptical of other people's stories, because your own is so different?
     
  9. Zilim

    Zilim Anonymous

    I've always struggled with the you are not alone or everyone suffers idea. I have a background of ritual abuse interfamily run, all things earned, punishment as a way of life for not doing or being as told to be in that setting. Then having to not be, do or say anything about all that when back in the home base. Still working a lot out in t. I have concluded that although we all suffer, some of us are quite alone in our thinking, belief systems and ideas about life. My t does a great job of reframing it, sometimes saying this is what your training taught you, this is how it is now though.
     
  10. Vifuba

    Vifuba Anonymous

    I haven't gone through any of these, but wanted to say that I am really sorry for what happened to you and I admire your strength.
     
    provencepearl and 4melissa like this.
  11. Sosok

    Sosok Anonymous

    Cocab > Its not just some skepticism, due to the stalker issues some I feel are firstly dismissive, as far as fellow sufferers I get it, it is hard seeing the depth of sickness in humanity. Who wants to walk around thinking people are absolute monsters all the time. My personal fascination with lie detectors is more so because of past relationships that became exploitive, where I took them at their word that it was a relationship founded in love but for them one of apparent convenience. Do I expect to find someone who has a similar fascination for truth.. (not that every detail of a persons life becomes your own, as sometimes there are reasons but you can further determine motivation factors potentially and if things are grounded holistically. As far as fellow sufferers and seeing many who have shared bizarre and horrid testimonies- one of which became the potential stalker, some lie.. generally I can not even say this person did I only regret getting close with a person who may have had an evil imagination as if life does not have enough to deal with. I know for a fact some delight in further harming the conscious of purity that can actually care. So I generally have gotten colder and this to spare myself pain. I do not expect people to understand me, as long as I do that's all that matters. At a point I thought perhaps as my kids age they could handle bits of my truth according to the age of the abuse it occurred, feeling I had to live with the reality vs. them solely hearing it, but this also does not seem it bothers them to hear. Why in that day kids can be left for dead without a care.. I will never understand.
     
  12. Polim

    Polim Anonymous

    Sosok is original poster as is this- anyhow, I should say - I do not expect to find a person .. who appreciates lie detection potential, but feel it could certainly be very useful tool in therapies and in premarital counseling. Apparently this is changing names so you may not know which anonymous person is speaking.
     
  13. Vokot

    Vokot Anonymous

    One of my recovery peers was an infant and child victim of Satanic ritual abuse. She did though not isolate but acquired a peculiar habit of blessing everything... and hugging her trees much to her spouse's and consternation of the neighbors but she didn't care. She was so grateful to be liberated she converted and became Jewish. I was one of the few intimate friends she had though online and we never met in person.

    I always admired the frank candidness of her experiences and the drive and determination she had, unorthodox or not for not continuing the captivity that could have held sway over her life.
     
    ladee and 4melissa like this.
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