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Anyone Else Feeling Unsupported?

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anonymous

MyPTSD Pro
I know everyone's situation is different, but I am feeling/sensing a general lack of support on the forum these days. Can't quite pinpoint why, but I don't post much, so when I do, I am really struggling. It takes a lot for me to work up the courage to post, and when people criticized my writing because I asked a question to get more support, I felt hurt. My logical brain knows that it probably wasn't intentional criticism, but I cannot control my feelings; I can only control my response to them.

Now, I realize that everyone does not respond to every post. I know I don't, but I guess I was hoping for more support than I received; maybe a little encouragement too. I wrote the post the way I did so people would have a context for my question, especially since I don't post that much. I guess I'm just expressing unexpected frustration and wondering if anyone is feeling unsupported as well?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and experience; I'm not posting for the sake of curiosity. I feel like I'm alone with my feelings, and I guess I'm looking for some validation and reassurance that it's worth it to stay on the site...

I hope everyone has a great day/night!
 
To make sure I'm reading correctly: I'm hearing that you wrote a post, it didn't get the number, depth, or types of responses you were hoping for... So you asked how to better write the post... And are hurt because people told you how to better write the post to get the answers you're looking for?

One of these can't win for losing days, huh? I definitely have those! Hurt because I don't get what I ask for, and then hurt when I do get what I ask for! Darn emotions.

Have you tried rephrasing, or reformatting, to see if the suggestions work?
 
Can't quite pinpoint why
No one can pinpoint to their problems when they are meeting them first time. It takes time to pinpoint your problems, then questioning them as it takes time to find their answers. Questions and answers are interesting part to work out problem.

I wish you wellness back at you. Sorry to see you are struggling. Keep working on it, one day you will have an answer. One day may you are able to post your question.

Sending you some encouragement.
 
I can relate. I don't tend to take things too personally but I haven't felt much support even after taking time to write out what I'm going through. So I've found other places to talk a couple issues.

It does help to remember we are writing and shooting this onto the web...so re-reading and considering how we write. I'm not criticizing you at all because I don't know what post you are referring to. But I know I can write a lot and not ask any questions or sometimes even make a clear point....I've always had this problem to some degree. I appreciate that one user noted it was hard to know how to respond but wanted to respond. I could have been hurt but truth was my post was very diary-like, not really asking any questions or posing my thoughts in a discussion-like way. Mehhh. Anyway, that happens for me sometimes.

The users online here shift from time to time also and I notice a difference in tone or response. That just seems to be normal and nothing to take personally. Lately seems like a lot of people who relate more to emotional trauma than life-threatening trauma, so a sort of mix that relates differently. For me it seems to help that there are some people who understand early abuse or physical trauma and take the time to respond. If I get even just a couple thoughtful and helpful responses, that's great. Or sometimes just one. Just to not be alone with it. I don't care about numbers. But I hear your frustration.
 
Yeah sometimes I find what happens me is the post I really want replies on gets very few, and vice versa. For instance, I had a passing thought on Patriotism yesterday and it got tonnes of replies which was great although there have been other posts I've made where I was really hoping more would reply but few did.

I would like to respond to more posts but often I dont know how or find it too difficult

As a whole, I do actually feel quite unsupported at the minute as I can feel my T dropping off as I progress and I almost feel like I need him more than ever. So like I'm almost afraid to progress any further because I feel like all my support I've been getting will drop off.
 
I can relate. I don't tend to take things too personally but I haven't felt much support even after taking time to write out what I'm going through.

I've found other places to talk a couple issues.

It does help to remember we are writing and shooting this onto the web...so re-reading and considering how we write. The users online here shift from time to time also and I notice a difference in tone or response.

For me it seems to help that there are some people who understand early abuse or physical trauma and take the time to respond. If I get even just a couple thoughtful and helpful responses, that's great.

Yeah sometimes I've felt really relieved after posting, other times not so much, what other places are you on about?
I think the web point is good too. I'm always a bit paranoid about posting too much here incase I was ever found. Yeah quality not quantity as well I guess.
 
Not sure if this is part of what you experience; I also find it hard to balance the whole "helping one's own EPs" (or whatever terminology one prefers) with the EP's wish for outside support, combined with the EP's terror of exposure, combined with the EP's partial, sort of, disconnection from input... combined with poor models available to me as a kid for getting emotional support... :confused::confused::confused:

Sometimes it feels to me like everyone else here knows how to ask for support better than I do, and feel it too. But there are so very many people who have not been able to take even the first step along this path. :cry:
 
Yes, it can feel that way for sure. It is like that big world out there though isn't it? We want support, feel like with support it would be an easier road, but life isn't always like that. I got some great advice from a user here that helped me out when I first got here and I felt attacked (which I sometimes feel in real life). This board allows us to practice what it would be like to integrate fully IRL. Some people are rude, some are angry, some are dismissive, some are beautiful, some are patient, some are compassionate. It really has taught me, being on this board, that we are going to have to deal with all of these aspects in order to integrate. It is a lesson....that is how I look at it anyway.
 
I think the web point is good too. I'm always a bit paranoid about posting too much here incase I was ever found. Yeah quality not quantity as well I guess

Not putting up links, but I've just been working a little more specifically with depression, chronic pain, and physical abuse (so searching any of those, but other forums generally have fewer users so this one is still very helpful).

I'm paranoid too!! Details of my trauma would give me away if anyone who knows would happen to come across them here, and I assume the details would be here indefinitely. So I focus more on symptoms here and questions others might be able to answer. But it is also hard to spill something that feels sort of vulnerable and not get a response because that does kind of validate old feelings of invisibility. But I'm mostly over that part.

Yes, quality matters more than quantity...it's easy to get hung up on having lots of responses. But this isn't facebook, thank god. Even if just once in a while, people do slow down and make thoughtful responses, and I really appreciate that.
 
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