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Are You Missing Someone Right Now?

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I had a dream about my mom last night, again. She was being impossible in the dream, as she was at times in life. Funny, she use to hate that about my grandma, yet she was the same way. I had less tolerance for her than my grandma. Not sure why I've been dreaming about her so much lately.
 
I actually thought of my mom today and smiled. I didn't feel the same remorse I often feel, even after I think of a happy moment. I felt loved. All from just seeing a towel that was once hers.
 
Miss mom again. So much garbage has gone on with her remaining sisters, I wish she were here to monitor it or help me understand it. Better yet, I just wish she were here. We could tell her two crazy sisters to go fly a kite.
 
I'm missing the man I've never met yet. I'm a widow. I miss my hubby too, but I am still young enough to remarry and well, I get lonely, ya know? There's no one to just sit with, even if we don't have a lot to talk about, like couples that have been together for years sometimes get. I know my hubby and I could just sit in a room together and not say a word, but we would be content that way, not lonely. On the other hand, if he were watching TV and ignoring me, I did feel lonely!

I miss my dad and my mom terribly too. Hubby actually died before they did, but when the last of the 3 died, I really was bereft that I'd never been able to have children. Always they would miscarry during the first tri-mester of pregnancy.

Now I am all alone in the world, excepting maybe one friend/ neighbor.
 
(((( sheila )))), if you allow me to hug you .

I miss my old room mate. She was my best friend. She is getting older and I know she won't be around much longer. She had to leave because I had an PTSD meltdown. sigh. We are still friends but only long distance. sigh. I miss our chats and just having someone around that I knew cared about me.
 
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