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Avoid conflict at all costs

Discussion in 'Anonymous' started by Tuha, May 19, 2017.

  1. Ebati

    Ebati Anonymous

    I feel like I will avoid conflict no matter what...I will change my opinions and responses in a heartbeat without skipping a beat or blinking an eye to avoid conflict. I am constantly just examining people's every movement/facial expression and makes my response based on what they will think or feel. This causes me a lot of internal stress constantly worried about others perception of me but, I cant have anyone be mad at me...for the tension and the anger makes me want to cut or kill myself honestly...I am now in this place where my life revolves around avoiding conflict because I just cant take it anymore! Does anyone else feel this way?
    Fantine likes this.
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  3. Temar

    Temar Anonymous

    I used to do that but today I am learning how to stand up for myself and set boundries. Not all the time but some of the time.
  4. Meledo

    Meledo Anonymous

    I avoid conflict to save my fight. It wouldn't work if I hated myself. It won't be easy but try walking away next time. Keep your opinion; save a little piece of you. It get's easier each time.
  5. Ebati

    Ebati Anonymous

    Thank You for the suggestions...I will just keep at it but, walking away isn't always an option if you live with the person or are in the car with them for instance..
  6. Relu

    Relu Anonymous


    Yes, my entire life......it is HELL.

    Years of SLOW growth has improved it a bit, but it is still strong within.

    Fear of future/further trauma is the source.

    Emotional NEGLECT is part of it too.
  7. Reda

    Reda Anonymous

    Avoiding conflict is not healthy. That is how you end up stabbing someone or such, because you snap. You're a pressure cooker waiting to explode.

    I would honestly recommend that you engage in healthy conflict resolution here. Hell, create a thread about working on your avoidance of it, and ask to have pushy answers that cause conflict, then respond to them and create a healthy pattern of behaviour. Once you have that, step up and start doing it with people. Get someone to practice with, practice asserting yourself.

    One of the best books to help you, help yourself: The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships: Randy J. Paterson: 8601400879009: Amazon.com: Books
    Friday likes this.
  8. Amaku

    Amaku Anonymous

    I only go out when I feel it is safe to do so. Still, I sometimes find myself stuck in the middle of some conflict & I suddenly have to "deal" with it without losing my cool or making a spectacle of myself! Shit happens & that's just a part of life. I do try to avoid conflict as much as I possibly can. I still love a good debate because it keeps my mind alert to the real world! I just need to sort out the real world from the fictional world here on the internet. It appears so many here are just cloning themselves with multiple user names & accounts. Or...it's a bot that I'm chatting with. Oh joy. The new world order. Yippee!:singing::wacky::woot:
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