Hello.
I know that avoidance is a common symptom of PTSD, and while I get that to some degree (I feel sick when I walk through the place where It happened), I also often find myself Googling/searching the trauma. When other kids tweet about it, it's kinda like "Oh, I'm not the only one that remembers". Also part of it, I think, is because I want to see if there are any new developments on the case, but then when there are and I read things about it/people's comments, I get really upset and panicky. Like the other day, I looked for me "Never Forget..." shirt that I got after the attack, yet I feel like I shouldn't want to remind myself of that day and when I do it hurts. (P.S. = Still can't find said shirt. sigh.)
I know it sounds weird, and I wasn't sure if it's 'normal' to kinda purposely trigger yourself in a way. I'm not sure if this even makes sense to anyone else.
I know that avoidance is a common symptom of PTSD, and while I get that to some degree (I feel sick when I walk through the place where It happened), I also often find myself Googling/searching the trauma. When other kids tweet about it, it's kinda like "Oh, I'm not the only one that remembers". Also part of it, I think, is because I want to see if there are any new developments on the case, but then when there are and I read things about it/people's comments, I get really upset and panicky. Like the other day, I looked for me "Never Forget..." shirt that I got after the attack, yet I feel like I shouldn't want to remind myself of that day and when I do it hurts. (P.S. = Still can't find said shirt. sigh.)
I know it sounds weird, and I wasn't sure if it's 'normal' to kinda purposely trigger yourself in a way. I'm not sure if this even makes sense to anyone else.