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Back to Work - Need Help

Discussion in 'Employment, Education & Disability' started by adrian_newbridge, Nov 3, 2007.

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  1. adrian_newbridge

    adrian_newbridge Active Member

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    I,ve been back in work for two weeks now and my symptoms are getting worse, very high anxiety, scared, flas:crazy:hbacks are getting worse and just cant cope, even started self harming. Some people say stick it out some say stop work, I dont know what to do, any advice would help. I just want to be normal again but I just feel I'm trying to hard and its all going wrong.
     
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  3. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

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    Hello, any chance you could take some time off? maybe work part time for a bit? Change your hours around? From my experience you need to get the balance right. If things are getting bad again then maybe you've taken on too much too soon. It doesn't have to be all or nothing though.

    Are you getting enough time to chill out at the end of the day and during breaks too? If I'm working in an office I find I need to get out at every opportunity eg. lunch breaks and go to a park or some where quiet and just relax. Breaking the day up like helps, breaking it into more manageable chunks. I cant do the working late, working through lunch, commuting long hours that most people in our country do. All of that together is too much for me.

    Is there any bit of the day inparticular that's bad for you?
     
  4. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I know that work can be hard for us at times. But I think it might be helpful if you try and figure out what exactly is stressing you out, and try to come up with a solution to ease the stress some.....

    Are you putting to many demands on yourself, or is the job too stressful?
     
  5. adrian_newbridge

    adrian_newbridge Active Member

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    thanks for replying guys, I think it might be going self employed again, I;ve had to rent a van get insurance, register vat etc. I think looking at it now I have taken on too much, dont know how to tell my wife as she will be disappointed I'm not coping, I feel I can't let her and the rest of the family down again, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as they say, and with councelling coming to an end it all just mounts up.
     
  6. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    For me.....Being self employed has saved my sanity. When I worked for someone else, I was frustrated, and stressed most of the time. Maybe you just need to give it a little more time. Do a little bit everyday. 2 weeks isn't really a lot of time to judge things IMO. But we are all different....

    Hope you figure it out.
     
  7. adrian_newbridge

    adrian_newbridge Active Member

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    thanks for that, I'll try and give it a bit more time and see what happens, still worried about a relapse with the cutting happening again but hope I can overcome that
     
  8. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    You can only try....You know how much you can take at a time. Just try small steps for now, and try different things to reduce stress. Exercise is great, meditation, warm baths, talking about the stress, or whatever you normally do to reduce your stress. Mini breaks during the day would be helpful. When I get stressed at work, I take a 5 minute break and go outside. My customers know when I am stressed, so they understand.

    Hang in there.
     
  9. adrian_newbridge

    adrian_newbridge Active Member

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    thanks for that will take on board the advice and see how I go. I'd be lost without this site.
     
  10. baileysemt

    baileysemt Active Member

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    Adrian,

    I went through the exact same thing this summer when I tried to go back to shift work (e.g., working regular shifts for somebody else). I lasted 3 weeks and I had to give it up.

    At the time I felt very ashamed of "not being able to cut it," as I told myself, because you know how we always present ourselves in the worst possible light. We are our own worst critics, at all times...... :wink:

    I was going broke (still am broke), my Mom was supporting me (she still mostly is), I was hanging on by a thread (it's about 3 threads now, LOL) and I felt like a total failure. And I felt I had let my Mom down, as well as my employer, whom I like very much. It wasn't just a professional let-down, to me it was a personal let-down too. I am not the kind of gal who starts something and doesn't follow through.

    Then my Mom said something a few months later... "I was afraid that it was too soon for you to go back."

    :eek:

    I was blown away. I had been ripping myself up one side and down the other for weeks and months, and she was totally not judging me. Not thinking bad things. She was not let down and not disappointed. She understood what I was struggling with better than I did, in a way! She saw the big picture that I couldn't (and still don't) see.


    There are some things which simply are not within our control. A lot of us cannot work. I have learned, thanks to this board :smile: that this is a common thing for us PTSD'ers.

    My solution has been like others: I am self-employed. I set my own work, my own hours, my own terms. I am barely covering my rent, but I'm trying. Some days I succeed, and a lot of days I don't succeed at anything (or so it feels). But I'm trying. It's all that I can do.

    If you're not ready yet, you're not ready yet. It doesn't mean you won't be able to work a shift job ever, it just means that it's not feasible right now.

    As for your wife, if she doesn't understand this, get her a PTSD book (or two) and have her read them. We can't make our loved ones experience first-hand what we are going through, but if they love us, it surely pains them to see us hurting. Give your wife the chance to learn about what you are going through and empower her to support and help you.

    Hope you are having a better day today!

    Bailey
     
  11. logan

    logan Guest

    i'v been lucky went to work at factory with 20 presses that drowned out the things by their constant banging but was to much walking for my leg ,then found a job as lawn tec
    on the road every day doning poeple lawns all that walking didn't seem to the leg as much but most of all i didn't have to deal with the tight office stuff just some grumpy customers on some really nice ellders some times with some of the staff and machine break downs but i found with others all ways around i hurt more so some where theirs a balance in my story
    we can make it
     
  12. adrian_newbridge

    adrian_newbridge Active Member

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    Thanks guys, I'm afraid I've had to give work up for the time being, more self harming this week and hallucinations are getting worse. Saw my pshychiatrist yesterday and he thinks I need to be on more medication to be able to deal with work, but if I increase the dosage I'm like a zombie so it's a vicious circle, guess I'll just have to wait a while to try working again. I do feel like I've failed again and feel guilty towards my family but I do realize at least I gave it a try. It hurts when I see other people on here that are working and I think if they can do it why can't I ?
     
  13. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

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    At least you gave it a go. I wont necessarily always be too much. I try and look at it as training eg. physical training. You just aren't fit enough for the race yet. You just need to work on your training. You didn't fail. Try to look at it as just too much at the moment.
     
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