A month ago I skipped school to go to a guy's house. I felt mildly pressured to go to his house- I did want to go, as well, because I was going through a bit of a "rebellious" few weeks. This guy is known for sleeping around- and it was the first time we really spent any time together. We were in his room and did sexual stuff together (my first time doing anything sexual with anyone) and I felt like I was there only for him and not me. Anyway, every single day since, I have experienced extreme anxiety. I get flashbacks of this experience which are incredibly hard to experience and I find myself hitting myself or kicking something or biting the insides of my cheeks until they bleed. I have suddenly developed acne from the stress and I have difficulty sleeping and find myself sometimes dreaming about what happened. Whenever someone brings up anything sexual in conversation I find it very difficult to participate in the conversation. For the past month I have experienced a very nervous stomach all the time which results in a lack of appetite, tummy pains and worse. I have researched PTSD but I don't know if it's possible that this could be the cause of it- as I gave my consent although felt slightly pressured. I have always been very introverted but my confidence has improved a lot this year- but now I feel very unconfident all the time. Every night this week I have experienced bad tension headaches as well. Often I feel very depressed and lose the desire to keep living. I feel like all these things are getting worse as time goes on rather than better. I don't know what I should do- just wondering if anybody knows if this could be PTSD?
I have always lived a life where I choose to stick on the right path and not make choices such as these ones. I used to suffer from depression but everything turned around for me about two years ago... but now this. I have a very strong fear of rejection as I was bullied continuously as a kid by my peers and this affected me greatly. I have always sort of idolized this guy that I had this experience with and now I'm afraid he thinks worse of me or that he just used me and now laughs about it with his friends. Last night he was going to come to hang out with me and some friends but stood us up and I had an awful sleep last night afterwards and all of today I have felt incredibly sad and worthless.
I have always lived a life where I choose to stick on the right path and not make choices such as these ones. I used to suffer from depression but everything turned around for me about two years ago... but now this. I have a very strong fear of rejection as I was bullied continuously as a kid by my peers and this affected me greatly. I have always sort of idolized this guy that I had this experience with and now I'm afraid he thinks worse of me or that he just used me and now laughs about it with his friends. Last night he was going to come to hang out with me and some friends but stood us up and I had an awful sleep last night afterwards and all of today I have felt incredibly sad and worthless.