I'm not sure what this nightmares means in terms of my PTSD or abuse but I have this nightmare where the adult version of myself sits down with my abuser and watches him abuse the little version of myself, giving him a hug for doing so, afterwards. Then, my abuser, after the hug, stabs me with a screwdriver.
I realize one of the reasons and possibilities may be that I hate myself. But I feel like that the nightmare is trying to tell me something that I'm not understanding. Otherwise, I'm just not sure what the reason for the specific nightmare is. It's not like it's scary, but it's not like it's not scary. In its own way, is it telling me that he was "my enemy" when I was a child but now that I hate myself years later, I'm my own worst enemy?
Another possibility is that I've mentioned before how I'm submissive and often don't like that I can't say no, even when I realize (or not) that someone's using me.
Do any of you have nightmares in which you find yourself fond of your abuser, but otherwise loathe him or her and fear them?
I realize one of the reasons and possibilities may be that I hate myself. But I feel like that the nightmare is trying to tell me something that I'm not understanding. Otherwise, I'm just not sure what the reason for the specific nightmare is. It's not like it's scary, but it's not like it's not scary. In its own way, is it telling me that he was "my enemy" when I was a child but now that I hate myself years later, I'm my own worst enemy?
Another possibility is that I've mentioned before how I'm submissive and often don't like that I can't say no, even when I realize (or not) that someone's using me.
Do any of you have nightmares in which you find yourself fond of your abuser, but otherwise loathe him or her and fear them?