Been thinking about this a lot today. I'm often told by people (who are usually asking me to do something I don't agree with) that I'm difficult, rebellious, non-compliant. I do agree with them, but it's the reason why that interests me.
It seems to me that in the past, my decisions were made for me - these phrases spring to mind:
"it's in your best interests",
"I'm only thinking of you/your future",
"you're not old enough to understand",
"you're just not seeing the bigger picture"
"you're only seeing it from your point of view"
It's precisely this type of thing that led to the life experiences that gave me ptsd in the first place. Decisions were made, supposedly in my best interests, which caused me a whole lot of unpleasantness.
Thinking about it, it's not hugely surprising that I question the motives of other people. If someone tells me to do something and I don't see a logical reason to do it, I ask why? I am not content with the answers saying "because I say so" or "that's just the way it is". I will persist until I am satified with the reasoning behind something.
In other words, if you want me to do something that I find illogical, you'll have to provide justification. Threats just won't work on me - let's face it, I've stood my ground when the stakes have been as high as they get, so I'm not particularly fazed with your everyday bully tactics. I just get irritated.
While there is nothing wrong with standing my ground, I do think this habit of mine causes me a lot of problems - particularly when being given orders.
I just can't take what someone says on faith and trust - particularly not someone who is an "authority" figure. Too cynical I guess.
I don't know what (or even if) I should or can do about this aspect of me, other than being aware of it when I'm dealing with people. :dontknow:
It seems to me that in the past, my decisions were made for me - these phrases spring to mind:
"it's in your best interests",
"I'm only thinking of you/your future",
"you're not old enough to understand",
"you're just not seeing the bigger picture"
"you're only seeing it from your point of view"
It's precisely this type of thing that led to the life experiences that gave me ptsd in the first place. Decisions were made, supposedly in my best interests, which caused me a whole lot of unpleasantness.
Thinking about it, it's not hugely surprising that I question the motives of other people. If someone tells me to do something and I don't see a logical reason to do it, I ask why? I am not content with the answers saying "because I say so" or "that's just the way it is". I will persist until I am satified with the reasoning behind something.
In other words, if you want me to do something that I find illogical, you'll have to provide justification. Threats just won't work on me - let's face it, I've stood my ground when the stakes have been as high as they get, so I'm not particularly fazed with your everyday bully tactics. I just get irritated.
While there is nothing wrong with standing my ground, I do think this habit of mine causes me a lot of problems - particularly when being given orders.
I just can't take what someone says on faith and trust - particularly not someone who is an "authority" figure. Too cynical I guess.
I don't know what (or even if) I should or can do about this aspect of me, other than being aware of it when I'm dealing with people. :dontknow: