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Relationship Beware Ptsd Being Used As An Excuse...

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Bubbles215

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This will be my last post here - I am no longer a supporter sadly.

I finally found out what it means to excuse bad behaviour as PTSD when it really is just that - my bad, I'm too soft for my own good....and boy does it smart!!!! He had a flare up not long after we met so I gave him space, I worked on myself, his stuff is still here...and I find out via Facebook status update he's now in a relationship....what a way to find out!!! Another whirlwind one no doubt but to find out that way is callous and cruel. I asked him to tell me the truth and he couldn't be bothered to give me that one decency. One minute he's confused, wants to be on his own, the next there he is moving on with no care for the wreckage he's left behind. He said he wanted to phone me but 'was too scared' - no, that's not good enough, when you've been in love with someone surely you owe them a shred of decency. I'm angry and hurt and an idiot. I'm so sorry to all you sufferers that get a bad rap from people using PTSD as an excuse to treat people appallingly.
 
No, thank you - I'd have been there totally for him but wow this hurts! I'm sure he'll be onto the next one soon
 
I don't know what his deal is, but i can say that I myself have at times left the people I felt genuinely close to in order to be with someone who felt like more of a stranger, all because it felt safer that way, knowing that there'd never be a real connection.
 
Thank you both. I'm at an absolute loss how you can tell someone you love them and I do believe he did to the point where you would treat someone with such contempt.

I feel like I'm the enemy to him. I made it easy for him and said email or text if he'd met someone, as I suspected he had, but that knowing the truth would make it much easier to move on but he chose that very public way to do it. I've lost count of the times he'd tell me he would phone and didn't and he flatly refused to get the stuff he left here which is just stupid when he's moved on. It's like he's scared of seeing me or talking to me. The person he's now seeing is 20 years younger than him - bit odd! I have my closure - I just don't understand.
 
I understand it's difficult, but there isn't that much to understand.

The main fact is that your relationship with him is over. And you need to concentrate on your healing and moving forward.

If you read through the threads you will see that your scenario isn't that uncommon. PTSD makes life difficult and sometimes real feelings are just too much for a sufferer to cope with.

Take comfort from the fact that it really isn't you, it is him. Give yourself time to grieve the relationship, but move on. For your own sake.
 
He obviously wasn't genuine as people like yourself are like gold dust; trying to stand by some one who is going through Hell takes a certain kind of person. You're worth more! Thank you from myself, you pick yourself up and be grateful he's gone. As I stated people like yourself are priceless; and trust me I'm married to one! Be lost without him
 
This will be my last post here - I am no longer a supporter sadly.

I finally found out what it mean...

I went through this once a year and a half ago. Ironically, I met my current guy through the ex POS. He did the same thing, left me hanging for about three weeks, and wound up publicly announcing he was in a new relationship- WITH A 20 YEAR OLD. Not saying that's relevant, but it was the first time I ever experienced being traded in for a "newer model." It added insult to injury for me.

I didn't speak to him for almost a year. I tried my hardest to deal, move on, and started dating my now boyfriend. About three months ago, right before things with my guy and I got serious, this dude came up and actually apologized for what he had done. BLEW MY MIND. I had already accepted the fact that I was never going to get that apology, and it made it even easier to close that door and move forward. I have also realized that I seriously dodged a bullet with that one. So blessed it didn't work out, and that I have who I have now. His purpose in my life was just to bring someone even more special into it.

Hang in there @Bubbles215. It will get better for you, and no one deserves that type of treatment.

P.S. Things with the other gal never worked out. They made it maybe a year, and split up.
 
First, I am so very sorry this happened! :hug:

I'm so sorry to all you sufferers that get a bad rap from people using PTSD as an excuse to treat people appallingly.

Thank you so much for that statement as I do feel the moment I tell a potienal partner that I have PTSD they run. Like WTF?

No matter what, we are still responsible for our behavior and there really is no excuse for this at all in my opinion. I did go through a time where I 'guy hopped' but I didnt tell them nor give them the impression that I wanted a relationship. They were all too willing to make it just about sex.

My ex, good lord thats a thread all by itself. I worked so hard to make it work with him but in the end, he was an abuser, we were both doing coke & crack together; I wanted to get clean, he didnt so I ended up leaving but not before several "talks".

Years later when we were both clean we tried again and he was still abusive so i said no. I was the one trying hard to make it work & I am the one with PTSD. But never in my life would I be in a relationship and just drop that, on facebook which is worse than text I think, and jump right into a new relationship.

I dont know, I guess there are guys with PTSD that do. Unstable relationships is a symptom and I do have unstable relationships with people but I wouldnt be able to do that and hurt someone like that and PTSD doesnt give us a free pass to hurt people, nor does it give us a free pass from responsiblity of behavior.

Again, I am so very sorry this happened! It is so wrong! :hug:
 
@Bubbles215 - that's exactly what happened to me. He dragged me through his bullshit and didn't even have the decency to tell that it is over. He just stopped communicating and ignored me while I stood by him through a lot of difficulty. I wasn't even worth an explanation... And this is someone who claimed ti be madly in love with me. He and all his words were an ugly lie. Yep, PTSD was just an excuse. For a while I was looking to understand what he was going through... But I found out that PTSD has nothing to do with it. He's just a cowardly jerk.
 
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