I think I have found this forum a little too late. My BF has severe PTSD due to serving in Iraq as a battlefield medic. He has intense survivors guilt and has recently turned to drinking to make it through the day. I care deeply for him and wish I knew what to say in those dark times. We recently found out I was pregnant.
I am now 9 weeks and things have progressively gotten worse. He has horrible down moods and self hurts, burning himself with cigarettes and cutting. I'm very scared for him and also for the emotional turmoil and stress on the baby. I recently found out he has been communicating with other women telling them how awful I am to him and that he wishes they were the mother of his child not me.
I know on one level that when he is in his down moods that he just wants to connect to someone and latches onto whatever he can. I have tried to tell him how disrespectful he is being but he simply says that he has never cheated. Well I consider just the texting just as bad as cheating.
He has never been violent but I recently left him due to his drinking and came back after a few days because we wanted to work things out. It has only been a week and after finding out about these women, we got in a huge fight, him grabbing my shirt and throwing all of my possesions around the house. He broke several things I've gotten from my grandparents which can never be replaced. He was apologetic the next day but immediately his mood flipped and he was angry at me all over.
I feel like I'm abandoning him but I've decided to leave for good. It hurts the most because I know he is the kindest man but his hurt is so deep there is no way we can make it work. I feel like I'm failing him. I just need to do whats best for our child whether he is glad she exists or not.
I just needed to vent out these emotions. I respect everyone who is fighting their battle and supporting their loved ones. I wish I could help this man but he needs to want help before he can move forward.
I am now 9 weeks and things have progressively gotten worse. He has horrible down moods and self hurts, burning himself with cigarettes and cutting. I'm very scared for him and also for the emotional turmoil and stress on the baby. I recently found out he has been communicating with other women telling them how awful I am to him and that he wishes they were the mother of his child not me.
I know on one level that when he is in his down moods that he just wants to connect to someone and latches onto whatever he can. I have tried to tell him how disrespectful he is being but he simply says that he has never cheated. Well I consider just the texting just as bad as cheating.
He has never been violent but I recently left him due to his drinking and came back after a few days because we wanted to work things out. It has only been a week and after finding out about these women, we got in a huge fight, him grabbing my shirt and throwing all of my possesions around the house. He broke several things I've gotten from my grandparents which can never be replaced. He was apologetic the next day but immediately his mood flipped and he was angry at me all over.
I feel like I'm abandoning him but I've decided to leave for good. It hurts the most because I know he is the kindest man but his hurt is so deep there is no way we can make it work. I feel like I'm failing him. I just need to do whats best for our child whether he is glad she exists or not.
I just needed to vent out these emotions. I respect everyone who is fighting their battle and supporting their loved ones. I wish I could help this man but he needs to want help before he can move forward.