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Blaming Yourself

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by mama13, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. mama13

    mama13 Member

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    I just somewhat ended a friendship because my friend's husband was playing online video games with a 23 year old female. When she asked about advice about it, I just said, I put myself in my daughter's place and would not want her to engage in a social activity with an older married man. She told me that it is only for playing and strictly friendly, not in any other way. She then proceeded to tell me that ever since my daughter's accident, I don't allow myself to be truly happy, that I am more bitter, depressed, and cynical. Am I overacting? Just deep down, something doesn't sit right with me. I am so sad because I don't understand if I am pushing people away or if I have the right to be feeling this way. Sorry I know this is off topic. Sad because I will miss her.
     
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  3. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Donated

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    @mama13 everyone grieves at their own pace. With that in mind, your friend asked for your advice and then when she did not like what she heard attacked you out of hurt. Give your friend some time and give yourself some time. I don't know your story or how long you have been without your daughter but I don't think that if anything of that intensity happened to my daughter I would ever be the same person I was before.
     
    ladee, Zoogal and mama13 like this.
  4. mama13

    mama13 Member

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    She is still alive just went through a traumatic head injury in October. It just has shaken me to core, and I feel like I am in the depression stage. When my friend came to me, I basically didn't want to comprehend that yet another awful story about a broken family could possibly happen. That another person will be let down...I was so upset that she was actually saying this to me having known her husband and family and not wanting anything to happen. I know it didn't happen yet...I just know that it's asking for trouble and better to know even go down that path. He should appreciate what he has because life goes so quickly and anything can happen. I think this is why I am distraught. It is triggering all these sad emotions. Thank you...
     
    ladee likes this.
  5. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    Yep, if you're jumping from massive multiplayer online gaming to broken family? Definitely overreacting.

    If it's any comfort to you:

    MMOs are becoming the norm in the gaming industry, to the point that many new releases don't even have a single player component. Player ages range from 7-70. Do online friendships strike up? Sure. Gamers of similar levels & complimentary playing styles match up game to game, and it makes it easy to build teams. Play with the same people long enough, you get to know a bit about them. Sometimes real friendships emerge, but it's mostly just casual gaming friendships. I don't like MMOs, but my son has a short list of about 4 or 5 dozen people that he games regularly with, in various games, all over the world. Their miked conversations are freaking hilarious. Are their predators & nitwits online? For sure. Just like real life. Unlike real life, you can just block/ignore them. It's all rather similar to how in some Middle East countries women aren't allowed in casual or professional contexts with men (cafés, banks, etc.) because there is just too much potential for risk; but here in the west men and women are sitting next to each other in Starbucks, in line at the bank, etc. & while, sure some people strike up friendships with other regulars, for the most part that's as far as it ever goes. Families aren't broken just because you share chitchat with your barista every morning. Even if your barista is a flirt.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2017
    ladee and mama13 like this.
  6. mama13

    mama13 Member

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    They have begun texting one another. I just can't handle one more sad story...though you are right, my mind always thinks the worst of the situation. Maybe it is nothing, though I worry so much! I don't want any harm done and perhaps there will be none at all. Thank you!
     
    ladee likes this.
  7. steel

    steel New Member

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    Mama13, your friend asked. You gave her real and honest feedback. I would have given her the same feedback. You are following your instincts. I see no reason to doubt yourself. Hang in there.
     
    mama13 likes this.
  8. mama13

    mama13 Member

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    Thank you...apparently they work together as well. I just wanted her to know the truth of how I felt about it.
     
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