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Supporter Boyfriend Has Ptsd Still Active Guard And Just Asked For Space! I Am So Confused !

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I do not know how u can go 9 months and not one argument perfect relationship to boom I need space/time to figure out what I want! He has undiagnosed ptsd and is still active guard his family said he deals with it! But secluding yourself and being alone and avoiding all communication is not what we had in the beginning we talked all day long every day! Havent heard from him in 2 days and I wanna know as much about what to expect as possible! Im heartbroken!
 
@Southerngirl123
It's most likely not your fault. Sometimes we need alone time. You know, relationships are also exhausting. But cold turkey stopping communication can be quite bad.

I am not really sure, though. What recently has happened that could've caused it, maybe he was not talking about it?
 
he said its nothing I did or my kids just needs alone time but he does love me and just need space to figure out what he wants !
 
I really don't know, wait a few days. A few weeks at most. Don't worry. If you don't really push and make him feel attacked, he will probably return. People sometimes need a pause from everything
 
I recommend you learn a bit about PTSD in the meantime, might help you understand some of the mechanisms
 
I realize that this happened out of the blue so it's quite surprising to you. I think the best thing you can do is what you've already done. You let him know you support him. I think it would be good to give him some space. I know it's so hard as the change is abrupt, but if you contact him too much it could push him away from you instead of bringing him closer.

Welcome to the forum!
 
Your post sounds exactly like what I am going through, 1 year of being together never any problems then he started getting depressed around Veterans day. After that it was one stressful thing after another that piled up then one day he told me he needed space. I was so confused, like you I didn't know anything about ptsd, I was heartbroken and felt abandoned. Although he told me he loved me and it had nothing to do with me I still felt like it did. He said he had too much going on in his head and he needed space to sort things out. A week into his isolation I couldn't take it anymore and I called him (again before I knew anything about ptsd). He was very cold towards me and he said that he missed me but other than that he couldn't feel anything, his head was spinning, and if I didn't give him the space he needed it would push him away more. I have not heard from or contacted him since, that was a little over a week ago and it has been 2 weeks since I have seen him. The only things that have gotten me through and able to function are the stories and support from everyone here, and learning more about ptsd and knowing that this is normal and I'm not alone. I also started seeing a therapist to help me cope too. The only advise i can give is what i myself am doing...read the forums, learn all you can, be patient, and just have faith that he will be back and you can work things out. I hope everything works out for you.
Welcome to the forum!
 
Eeeee, okay, I'll offer my relation here.
With me, I can be really sociable then I'll have a bout of anxiety or depression and I need alone time. It might just be that he's going through some things right now and he feels like he'd rather deal with it alone.
Yes, do read up on PTSD. Maybe it'll ease your worries a little.

Good luck to you both:)
 
I do not know how u can go 9 months and not one argument perfect relationship to boom I need spa...
I know what you mean, same here, boyfriend suffers from PTSD from several traumatic events in his life (not military related) we've talked and talked for hours on end and everything would be great, all the sudden I am being shut out. Saying things like I need my space, it is frustrating, I feel so numb and heartbroken, but I'm still here and will continue to be here for him. Learning as much about the condition as I can. Hang in there. Anytime you want to chat, feel free, cause it looks like we have so much in common.
 
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