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News Breastfeeding In Public?

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Lucycat

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Recently in the UK there has been an absolute storm about the rights and wrongs of breastfeeding in public. It hit the news after a lady was asked to cover up in a posh restaurant and she was offended. She went public and the world is mostly on her side it would seem. It culminated at the weekend in a queue of young mums breastfeeding in the street outside the restaurant as a form of protest.

From my warped and skewed perspective as a victim of child abuse, I don't like to see women breastfeeding. However I see this as my private issue and am not usually public about it. Here I have anonymity so I can say what is in my head even though it may not be popular.

To be clear - I support a woman's choice to feed her infant how she choses, but appreciate that in the majority of cases breast is best for mother and baby.

To me, I see breastfeeding as a normal bodily function. But there are certainly other bodily functions that in my culture are deemed as private. I don't want to see an infant suckling. I don't understand our culture that says it is acceptable for an infant *up to a certain age*. Then people get upset - like if a 4 year old wants to feed. Where is the privacy of the child/infant? Who determines what is or is not OK?

Many people are now sharing these pictures of their infants breastfeeding on social media. Will the infant want these pictures so public when they are an adult? Are they not entitled to privacy also? Is it only the mother who has rights?

This has stirred up my brain because I am so uncomfortable seeing breast feeding and will avoid it at all costs. But I will leave rather than ask the mother to leave. I do understand that this is my problem, but I cannot believe that I am the only one. I don't see the harm in asking women to be discreet which is actually what the restaurant requested in the first place ( I believe).
 
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I see both sides of the issue. As a mom who had A LOT of problems trying to breastfeed though, the in public issue was a problem. To be completely covered the entire time was nearly impossible because neither of my kids just latched on and ate. Especially not my youngest who has a minor cleft palate and acid reflux issues. I however was very uncomfortable in public too. I would try to feed in the car if I could, unfortunately my youngest with his acid reflux just always thought he needed to be eating. So it was either have him scream through grocery shopping. Only go shopping in 15 minute intervals, or sit in the car for 2 hours in between stores until he'd FINALLY decide he'd be content for maybe an hour. I really feel like if it hadn't been such a stigma it would have been easier for me. Instead I had to switch to bottles. I felt like a failure of a mom, because on the other end of the spectrum you have everyone pushing you to do it.

I also struggled with my own personal PTSD symptoms being stirred up while feeding them, but got through it because I knew I was giving my children the best.

The only part of the argument I don't like is when people say "just use bottles" "just pump" "just cover-up"...it really is not as easy to do any of those things as it sounds, especially if you aren't a stay at home mom.

I agree with you on the privacy of the baby. I have my own photos of them nursing, you can't see much anyways, but I would never post them to the internet. There's just some things that don't need to be on the internet.
 
So breasts should be covered unless a woman is breastfeeding or attempting to breastfeed, and then it's ok to whip em out and make everyone else uncomfortable? I don't buy it. There is NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding, but at the same time, discretion is in order I do believe.

Don't underestimate the power of mommies online. They also think it's ok to have a screaming kid in a restaurant.....I've seen that argument one too many times. ie my kid has this disorder or that disorder so we have a right to be in a public restaurant even though the kid is screaming at the top of his lungs and ruining the meal for hundreds of other paying customers. No concern for anyone else because their rights trump the rights of everyone else. Very selfish. These mommies are gonna end up with the most self centered children.
 
ok, this is interesting topic so here is my take on it, I think it's a personal decision that a woman has the right to make......if you don't believe in breastfeeding in public, then don't do it. If someone is doing it and you don't like it get up and leave.

This is the same stance I took on abortion (and other controversial issues)...if you don't believe in it, don't do it.!!!! This might be oversimplifying, but so what? It is just my humble two cents. ;)
 
Breastfeeding is an entirely natural part of everyday life - it's no weirder to see an adult eating or drinking in public. IThere is great shame to be had in shaming parents for this natural act - if that's the tack people want to take they might as well shame having a child in the first place (especially as this is having a knock on effect on the health of children). Our culture is creating a stigma about an act vital to keeping a child alive and healthy. You might as well shame those who have mental health issues or the victims of rape - it really is no different. The fact that others sexuality the breast-feeding act is entirely their problem and not the problem of the mother or the child. I also don't think that female breasts need to be inherently sexual either - the difference between a topless woman and a topless man is fat percentage and that's it. If anything a topless male is more sexual than a topless female as their nipples serve no other function.
 
@Melody coates sorry but I find your comment extremely rude and offensive. There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding. As someone who was severely violently sexually abused by incest, I find it really shameful and disturbing that you could compare a mother nourishing their child to this and sexualize it. I fed my son in public and will be feeding my next baby when they arrive in a few months. Do you think if I feed them in private it's like getting a private bj? Do you think I get pleasure out of it? I struggled to breastfeed my son and ended up having to exclusively pump. It was hard hard work and depressing to me that he could never latch properly due to tongue and lip tie issues. As a nurse I just wanted to give him the healthiest start. I'm sorry but if my son is now hungry in public I give him a bottle. When my newborn is hungry in public I'll offer the breast. I'm a modest woman but I put my child before anyone else and their twisted opinion. Each to their own but don't be as uneducated as to compare it to a sexual act. Please spare me, no need to guilt people for their parenting choices.
 
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I don't like seeing breastfeeding in public unless the mother uses discretion and puts a shawl over her shoulder once the baby is attached covering her breast... don't know why but I've always found it uncomfortable seeing women who just pull their breasts out and start feeding without a care in the world. I also don't like nudist beaches, topless sunbathing in public etc. I think it's the breast, otherwise deemed a sexual object (porn and the amount of it supports this), which makes me feel this way.
 
These posts are the reason I was completely shameless about breastfeeding in public. You think my kid eating is the same thing as watching a blowjob? Then all restaurants should be banned. Period.

I nursed my kids well into their toddler years. I nursed my 2 year old all the way through a pregnancy. Including breastfeeding in public when I was nine months pregnant and there was No Way to be discrete.

I think that if you don't want to see breastfeeding, don't look. Bottles screw up the nursing relationship and pumping is incredibly painful and time consuming. (Ok, some people get lucky and it doesn't hurt.)

I'm thrilled the UK is coming down on the side of normal human development instead of squeamishness that has no place in the feeding of babies.

The breast isn't "best". It is normal. It is what we are supposed to use. Formula is a substandard, not-fully-adequate substitute.
 
@rightkindofme thank you for talking some sense.

Put it this way, my mother bottlefed me, yet had no qualms about letting my father do all kinds of sexually disturbing acts to me as a child.

People need to wake up. A mother risking public abuse and shaming because they care that much to at least attempt to breastfeed their little one, is unlikely to be the child abuser/predator that hurts a child behind closed doors.
 
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