I am a 34 yr old single mum. I am going through treatment for ptsd and depression for the past 3 years. My children are what have kept me alive...I have 2 modes; 1.strong mum who can pay a mortgage, take care of kids, support friends and family,and keep everything going......then there is the second mode. I fall apart,cry,panic, feel overwhelming fear,freeze in horrible flashbacks, get confused and struggle with simple tasks like food shopping. I can never understand how I can be both these people simultaneously. After suffering horrible csa and being attacked in my early 20's,then being beaten and threatened by my children's father.....I was suprisingly ok for a long time. Then one day I just started to shake and stammer and then all the rest followed. .........it's a lonely flippin condition.