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Busting Out Of Agoraphobia

Discussion in 'Accomplishments' started by permban0077, Jan 4, 2007.

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  1. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Most of you know I am extremely agoraphobic. Me getting out recently late at night in this sleepy tiny town to walk my dogs is huge for me. I have not in a couple days as it has been way too cold and I do not have the outwear.

    But I have been riding to the new town my son schools in, visiting the in laws, I even went and met my landlord yesterday with hubs. Going into corner stores with hubs, grocers... And I was going non stop today. I went with hubs to take son to school (I still do not know how to get to the town) and went into the major city by here and went to a MALL!

    Everyone I have met has been so nice and everyone smiles around here. I have not come across a single rude person, everyone has gone out of their way to be friendly which is mind blowing as back home people did not act like this! I mean people don't look away, they smile. And a big ol smile. A real one not a BS one like I do LOL...

    I went and found a full length wool coat, but I had no clue if it would be warm enough. So at the mall the lady at the department store walked me out in the cold air and it was windy so really getting my attention on the way in the store :brrr: . But I thought it was truly mind blowing the sales lady walked me outside in the coat to see if it kept me warm before I bought it!!! She went through the ladies department helping find long sleeve shirts (I own only a couple) on sale.

    Customer service every where has been amazing. Hubs commented how the lady at the grocer is always friendly and always has a smile (so it is not in my head).

    I even went out to eat and noticed I started to panic. I slowed down and said I need to look and smell and enjoy my food and did :)

    This move is really helping at getting me out of my home. Not that I don't have a lot of other crap to deal with, but this is such a huge leap for me.

    I am so wiped out and am everytime after, but I am able to keep going back again. I think I am starting to get a glimpse of life and it is nice. But goodness I am ready for bed and it is 4:30 in the afternoon!!

    I have been invited to supper at inlaws tomorrow night and am so scared but I know I have a private outside room if I panic (I suffer a severe panic attack at suppertime every night) But they know my condition and I know I have a safe place outside the home if panic hits so I am going to try and do it. May take my laptop in case I hide a while.

    I am kicking back now and having a beer and relaxing, it was well deserved! I actually feel proud of me!
     
    Caroline-M likes this.
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  3. nugget

    nugget Well-Known Member

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    :claps: Veiled Well done nice to hear that so far its working out better than the road trip. Hows the chooks going
     
  4. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    *hugs* you are doing great! I noticed how much you were improving with leaps and bounds with this issue! Pat yourself on the back lots and keep going girl!!

    Bec
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

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    Way to go. Would Angoraphobia be "The fear of scratchy long sweaters"? LOL. Best of luck and how are the ducks ?
     
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Congrats veiled! That's great news. And yes, life is nice. Hope you catch more glimpses of it. :)
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Well done veiled, very well done. It just keeps getting better ha?
     
  8. nov_silence

    nov_silence Well-Known Member

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    Mad props!
     
  9. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    It does keep getting better and I am liking it and dare say finding enjoyment! I was too wiped at the mall with the 3yo pulling items left and right, as we shopped for her too for warm clothes and her saying "hmm, wonder if this fits"... just imagine her thinking it was a shopping spree and had to do that to every thing. Soon as something would be put back on the hanger she hit the next section with clothes down again over and over and... Lil' old ladies laughing everywhere at the chaos of shopping with her. I spent most of my time saying stop, no, put that back, let mommy do it... Hubs holding purse and bags. I had sooo much fun buying for her, it was just a pleasure and a blast even if she acted like one of those kids that you look at and think why doesn't that parent stop them... Figured out why you cannot, they are like an act of nature, it just happens and what are ya going to do? It was fun.

    So I did not get to hit the phone books and call for doctors. Will try tomorrow.

    Will take getting ready tomorrow a step at a time. I have learned not to look at the big picture. But look at get through the bath and do not think beyond the bath... Just bathe. Then worry about make up, nothing else just that. Then worry about clothes. Take it one step at a time. Not all at once. And giving myself permission for it taking a few hours :) It gets done and getting done.

    Will do the same for tomorrow/today. I just got up! I hope to get back to sleep.

    The ducks I need to call and see how they are doing at their new pond. My two hens in their parrot cage are doing well. They make a thing (no shitting) called chicken diapers so if you want to let them "free range" in the house with no mess... Just I am borderline certifiable, do I really want to have that much more proof LMAO. Maybe, it isn't like I would shock those around me now! But they are happy and since they have to deal with so much light in the bedroom being turned on I won't be surprised to be getting eggs again soon! I need to take a pic of them, told hubs I was going to find a farm poster to put behind their cage, people do it for fish tanks so why not?

    I will just be here a little bit and go see if I can do the one step at a time thing again and maybe get my dogs out, I have the dressing for it now.

    It has been very hard and exausting, but so worth the trade. I hope that I can get to where I can function for an entire day again sometime soon, but I see how long a process this is so I am not going to pressure myself, taking pressure and expectations off, and acceptance is making a difference now. Why push it? When I pushed or rushed it made it worse. I am so happy I cannot even express it that finally I am seeeing a change! I love getting some confidence back and it is no wonder my body wears easy, it has been a very long time coming. Won't push my body too hard too fast either. Everything in stride and one step at a time, who knew after awhile I could look back and see steps behind me now? I don't feel like I am running in place anymore, thing was I had to quit running and take a slow stroll to get here.
     
  10. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Oh and the best part of shopping! I cannot leave this out as it is huge. After the lady was so helpful and nice I stopped watching people. I stopped looking around and scoping my surroundings. So by the time I got to the other floor of the store in the children's department all my attention was on little one and her antic's. I was oblivious to what others did except giggling at her as they walked past. I was I swear at at zero level on hypervigilance! Totally unbelievable!!!!
     
  11. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Well done my dear, very well done.... your seeing many rewards these days for your hard work. Isn't it funny how we think we're getting nowhere fast, then bam... it hits us and we pay attention to achievements. Well done veiled, your hard work is showing you what life is about once again.
     
  12. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    OK, so I cannot expect perfection. My head is pounding and I had a major attack walking my dog. A bigger dog was loose "down town". After two loud firm no's at my dog I noticed the loose one in the street stopped. But it scared me so bad as I know my dog will rip another one apart as she had hair standing up on her back and was ready to tangle. No one allowed close to mom... 2 legged grown ups or dogs. She loves kids. I freaked when the dog was coming up and mine was not listening to me and called hubs... Poor guy was cruising trying to find me half naked in the cold weather. (he was, not me) I was able to get my dog around a corner and out of sight of the "stray" who listened.

    So I found something I need to work through. My walk was cut short to about 1/4 of usual. But panic has eased and I am going to try to ge some make up on and try the local diner for breakfast... So I am not stopping yet. Just try something else... After I take something for my headache.

    Life or closer to it is nice for a change for sure.
     
  13. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Funny Veiled, I have this happen to me on walks for the opposite reason.. it's my dog that will get harmed (she is wussy) from another dog. I've had to cut my walks short form the anxiety attack that hit from it. People, we both ignore them. LOL. Good for you for not letting it stop you dead. Enjoy your breakfast!

    Bec
     
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