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Sufferer C-ptsd And Dids From Childhood Trauma

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by PepperAnne, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. PepperAnne

    PepperAnne New Member

    Hi, I was diagnosed 1.5 years ago as having C-PTSD and recently as having DIDs (Dissociative Identity Disorder). I woke up one day in my mid thirdies and my life changed. I took a shower, got a little water in my ear and realized I had an inner ear infection, because of a shooting pain.. the pain was very familar and with it, came a flashback to being a small child and being thrown into a swimming pool. The flashback was so real that I could actual feel the sun on my face and smell the warm summer air of freshly cut grass. It was December on the east coast and cold, but for those 10 or 15 minutes I was lost in a flashback in my bathroom. I actually has missing time, as I dissociated. It was the shower water running cold that pulled me out of the flashback.
    Since then, it has been a constent flood of memories of being physically and emotional abused as well has having some of my basic need neglected.

    I also have adult traumas that I am dealing with such as car accidents, the loss of loved ones and being present at the world trade center on Sept 11, 2001.

    I have always tried to bury the past and not look back, but after returning to the financial district for a job in 2010, and litterally watching the new Freedom Tower being built from my office window, I could no longer run from my past, that was the key to opening the door and now everyday is a struggle. I have become a burdon on my Husband and my children, who were unaware of my issues because I had them buried and locked away tightly.

    I hope to find support and strength here to help me move through my day to day challenges.

    Thanks for listening.

    PepperAnne
  2. Ice_Fire

    Ice_Fire Keep your head up, Keep your heart strong Premium Member

    Hi PepperAnne, welcome to the forum.

    Hopefully you will find being here helpful. I'm sorry you've suffered so much. I was abused as a child too.

    I recently visited New York on a school trip and we went to ground zero. I can't imagine how being there that day must have felt.

    Ice_fire
    ^^FlyingSolo^^ likes this.
  3. Ms Spock

    Ms Spock Free of Suicidal Ideation. Premium Member

    Thinking of you PepperAnne,

    it is hard to deal with the layers of PTSD and DID and I wish you well and hope you find solace on the forums.
    ^^FlyingSolo^^ and PepperAnne like this.
  4. intothelight

    intothelight Totally Quackers Duck Staff Member Premium Member

    Hi PepperAnne,

    Welcome to the PTSD Forum. As you read other member's post, I believe you will find you are not alone in having memories come back long after the event. Being diagnosed with PTSD and DID can give you a reason as to why you are experiencing what you are, but it also raises so many questions and concerns. I hope you find a lot of information and answers here, and with therapy and hard work, it does get better.

    Wishing you the best.

    Debbie
    ^^FlyingSolo^^ likes this.
  5. PepperAnne

    PepperAnne New Member

    Thank you Debbie

    Thank you
    ^^FlyingSolo^^ likes this.
  6. Mary Burgess

    Mary Burgess New Member

    Welcome! I am new here, too - started last Friday. I have a past history of physical/emotional abuse, and have recently been diagnosed with ptsd. Change of a job, and end of a relationship set off a volcanic anger eruption too baffling for words - and I was able to find this support site that so far has been a savior until I can get into my next counseling session, and some ongoing therapy. The folks I have met here have been incredibly nice, and very supportive - I know you will find them the same!
    Mary
    Ms Spock and ^^FlyingSolo^^ like this.
  7. PepperAnne

    PepperAnne New Member

    Thank you Mary. It seems like we have a lot in common... with the exception of the ending of a relationship, that is pretty much the events of which set off my discovery of having PTSD.

    I look forward to making connections and gaining a larger support group for my issues and needs.
    ^^FlyingSolo^^ likes this.
  8. ^^FlyingSolo^^

    ^^FlyingSolo^^ - Acceptance, hope, Courage, Forgivness -

    Welcome to the forum!
    PepperAnne and Ms Spock like this.

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