Oh well guys I have tried to take on board what you all have said and since Christmas I have implemented it.
hubby is not so angry - he talks about his job and is relaxed and content in his present surroundings. with ex military guys and is near the "action". He is where he feels comfortable -
I have tried my damndest to be supportive and patient even running him to catch his transport to the other side of the world. I recognise that he was once a soldier always a soldier in his blood!
I have tried to ask ONE question and tried to clarify what he feels - at which point he still says I am wrong and I read into things! Even when i give him the alternative Im wrong oh my god -to what he is saying !!!!
We are separated and there are inevitable worries, house finances etc etc.
He tells me not to worry ! (he is paying bills love him)
We are mostly very polite on the phone and aware that we dont want it to arouse anger.
OK. - but when I need to know if he has any idea of where we are going with this? he says I cause him pressure , But there are sufferers on here that know they want/dont want the support of the spouse.
:kickass:
I learnt by that but he says there is nothing wrong with him although he has agreed for nearly three months that he would see a doctor and hasnt! He cant see one over there now. So it will be when he returns (dont know when)
He is doing a good job but is always complaining of tiredness, not sleeping tossing and turning sniffles and is recently recovering from a chest infection/flu.
I am calm with him now and listen to what he has to say. I just calmed him and we have agreed to just chat about ordinary things on the phone and email other stuff im hoping he will be able to read without anger and have time and space to justify his answers if he can figure them. Any way the bottom line is I have told him I am convinced he is not himself and that I am pointing him to this forum - to read the resources if nothing else. I am willing
to take the flack as I can practically hear what he is going to say and it wont be complimentary!
The last thing I want to do is upset him but he has to start to do something for himself. recognise the fact people love and care cant stand by and watch him do nothing while he turns his back on his family and pretends there is nothing wrong. (three years since he first emotinally detatced) i hope this doesnt backfire but what the hell have I got to lose. No relationship........
for those of you have read my posts I have not denied that I wasnt sure if this was another relationship breakdown. But listening to his voice and reading other posts I am convinced he is suffering!
Gut instincts and all that.
:tongue: heres hoping he will slowly take my hand......
hubby is not so angry - he talks about his job and is relaxed and content in his present surroundings. with ex military guys and is near the "action". He is where he feels comfortable -
I have tried my damndest to be supportive and patient even running him to catch his transport to the other side of the world. I recognise that he was once a soldier always a soldier in his blood!
I have tried to ask ONE question and tried to clarify what he feels - at which point he still says I am wrong and I read into things! Even when i give him the alternative Im wrong oh my god -to what he is saying !!!!
We are separated and there are inevitable worries, house finances etc etc.
He tells me not to worry ! (he is paying bills love him)
We are mostly very polite on the phone and aware that we dont want it to arouse anger.
OK. - but when I need to know if he has any idea of where we are going with this? he says I cause him pressure , But there are sufferers on here that know they want/dont want the support of the spouse.
:kickass:
I learnt by that but he says there is nothing wrong with him although he has agreed for nearly three months that he would see a doctor and hasnt! He cant see one over there now. So it will be when he returns (dont know when)
He is doing a good job but is always complaining of tiredness, not sleeping tossing and turning sniffles and is recently recovering from a chest infection/flu.
I am calm with him now and listen to what he has to say. I just calmed him and we have agreed to just chat about ordinary things on the phone and email other stuff im hoping he will be able to read without anger and have time and space to justify his answers if he can figure them. Any way the bottom line is I have told him I am convinced he is not himself and that I am pointing him to this forum - to read the resources if nothing else. I am willing
to take the flack as I can practically hear what he is going to say and it wont be complimentary!
The last thing I want to do is upset him but he has to start to do something for himself. recognise the fact people love and care cant stand by and watch him do nothing while he turns his back on his family and pretends there is nothing wrong. (three years since he first emotinally detatced) i hope this doesnt backfire but what the hell have I got to lose. No relationship........
for those of you have read my posts I have not denied that I wasnt sure if this was another relationship breakdown. But listening to his voice and reading other posts I am convinced he is suffering!
Gut instincts and all that.
:tongue: heres hoping he will slowly take my hand......