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Can You Help Too Much?

Discussion in 'General' started by slhlilbit, Mar 1, 2007.

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  1. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    Ok here i go.
    well last year i let my brother move in so i could help him. He has ptsd from a ship wreck and alot of other things. we were both in the service at the same time. He went on to retire and then went to work as a health inspector. I on the other hand went through alot different kind of abuse and assalts. I have not been able to work for a long time.
    My son was fine when he was born but at 2 months i had to spend 24 hours on base and when i picked up my son he was sick i took him to the hosp. and they tried to say i hurt him. i had to get my parent to come from out of state and stay with him while i went and got proof that i was not with him. long enough to do anything to him. now the drs are saying they dont know if he was shaken or druged with something. but he has a TBI. my daughter was in an auto accedent in 2003 and she is a parapligic. she is dong ok on the outside. she has ptsd to i think. and is not in a good relationship.
    now my friend and her girls are staying with us. they are no truble and i really enjoy having them here.
    but I am starting to feel alittle overwelmed to say the least. Im not sure i can handel all of this financialy or emotionally. But i dont want to hurt anyone either. Im just not sure what to do.:wall: :crazy:
     
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  3. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    You sound like a very wonderful giving person. How long is your friend and her girls planning on staying? Do they help you financially or are they in a rut? I ask this because only you know your limit, and if they had no where to go on the streets it would probably stress you further to put them out. After they leave I would give yourself a much needed break from other peoples problems and take care of you for a bit. <Hugs>
     
  4. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    well they are staying with me until they get things in order with there couseling and find out if her boyfriend is going to go to get help for his problems. i could not stand to put them out in the street. she is helping me with housework cooking and anything i ask and the girls are very sweet polite and i just love them as if they were my own daughter and granddaughters.
    i get paniced mostly at the end of the month over having enough of everything to go around. thats from living on very little money for so long. i do know that God is going to supply for us. its going to be ok. im just crazy like that.:cuckoo:
     
  5. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    I think you already know the answer to your question! You love the kids, you have a close bond with the mother. You do what is right and good. Best of luck to all of you.
     
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    I agree with Portabella-you sound like a wonderful, giving person. But you have to remember to take care of you...it's not selfish, it's a nessecity. If you give all away, you have nothing left for yourself.

    Sending you wishes for the best of luck.
     
  7. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    ok i hope this doesnt blow up in my face.

    things are getting way off track. The girls are staying with me tonight. they are fine here. they need someone to talk to, they know me they trust me, some of the things the girls tell me i feel they need to tell someone who can do something about this. I cant. all i can do is listen. I am so proud of them for telling the truth and standing up for themselfs. I just hope they dont suffer for it. how can i be there for them and their mom when the facts of what happened are being over looked and now the girls are being told they messed up their moms whole world. They didnot mess up anything. they just spoke up and tried to get some inappopreate( i know i didnt spell that right) behavior stoped. i feel so bad for all of them. the girls are doing better in school but they are worried about there mom and i am too. she is drinking more now than befor. i know this is tearing her up but the girls dont need to feel like they did something wrong. it is not ok for a grown man to mess with himself and watch porn where the girls can see and hear it. or am i totaly wrong.? i want them all to feel safe and loved. sometimes i wish i didnt care about anyone or anything.:cuckoo:
     
  8. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    Thank God you do, or there would be two little girls that would have no one to trust and vent to. Hang in there ma ma, you are doing a superific job. But...sounds like the kids need some help. Are they away from him now? Never a risk of going back.
     
  9. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    yes the dfc is involved so the state has a large say in what is going to happen to them. I love them so much like they were my own i have known them sence they were in diapers. now they are both in high school. we had some great one on one coversations last night and i got to know just how wonderful they both are and just how much they both are hurting over all of this. they love there mom but hate what they were having to live with.
     
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