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Can you temporarily put off dissociation?

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Chem Lady

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I've been thinking about dissociation a lot the last few days. With the help of some people in this site I've been able to determine when I dissociate and what it looks like for me (it looks a little different than what most of you experience, apparently).
I'm trying to make more sense of my experience I have a question for you all: when you feel dissociation coming, are you able to stave it off for a short while? I can feel mine coming and I can use huge amounts of energy to keep myself in the present for a short period of time. However, I think that using the energy causes the dissociation to be more intense when I finally give in. Does this sound familiar? Do you have a different version of putting it off? I know that recently some of you shared that you can't hold it off, so I'm wondering if I'm way off here and I need to explore this phenomena further.
 
Sometimes I can “muscle through it”, in certain situations. For me it doesn’t seem so much like a conscience choice, it almost feels like holding my breath (although I am not physically doing that to stay present). It’s kind of hard to explain. It certainly does get way worse when I do dissociate afterwards. I am trying to work on recognizing it and grounding then because that keeps it from kicking in.
 
Thanks everyone! This does help me. The wording you've used sounds similar to the wording I would use, so I think it sounds reasonable that I am holding it off temporarily. Of course, at some point it just takes over and there's not much I seem to be able to do about it.
Sorry it took me so long to reply to you all, I haven't been able to check for a few days.
@eve Harrington, I find it so difficult to answer your question. I have been trying for years to put words to what I experience when I dissociate, but it is never even adequate. It's like I'm tired, but I also just can't seem to connect with my surroundings. I just seem to get lost inside myself. Sometimes I get so distant that I "sleep" but it's not sleep. It's really intense but I feel somewhat conscious of my surroundings, but I also have these intense "dreams" that aren't dreams. Again, this is so poorly described. It is just a really strange thing that is not awake and not asleep and at some point I seem to have no choice in whether I experience it or not.
 
Yep. I used to have a bag of Warheads super sour candies. Also a bag of crazy hot fireballs. No better way of slamming oneself into ones body than shocking the hell out of it.

Rinse. Repeat.

Sometimes it would catch up with me and I would go down hard afterwards, but all in all, it kept me up and alive enough to put other grounding techniques into place. Back in those days I had not even a nano second to ground - so I needed to train myself to have the time to cognitively get myself into more practical grounding methods.

Oh, and if you do this - make sure to brush your teeth. Those types of candies literally eat the enamel off your teeth.
 
I did have one therapist suggest keeping a bowl of ice water in my fridge for submerging my face in to ground. I never tried it.

I dissociate. I always have. Now I know that everybody dissociates and when I’ve tried to explain it words escape me. Usually it is a green therapist steering me away from waters above her head. In years past I tried to explain it to a friend. The thing is I try by starting to get them to understand on their level. Driving and spacing out kind of stuff and of course they say,” Tisk - with a dismissive wave, that happens to EverYBody!” Very friendly with no nasty edge but when I try to explain its different, I can’t find the words. Where to start? There are so many different levels, different flavors, a different awareness.
A person can have a problem with disscociating and not have parts. I have parts.
I do not speak of “parts” except for here. A person will never look at you the same again.
There is so little known about the brain, the ego and the spirit. I am not a highly educated professional.
I have felt the presence of Spirit. Usually when saving my life but there have been good moments as well.
Ego can be a real PITA.
Both affect the brain. Each has their own pathway of synapses lighting up the brain, creating insight, inflammation and/or dissociation.
If I am writing something with deep triggers, I will get very sleepy. Sometimes a short nap will help. Sometimes it’s the whole weekend.
My parts are my dissociation. This has always been so. I just recently started accepting it myself.
I think perhaps I am always dissociating at some level. I don’t know really but I/we coexist. It is not as strange as people think. It’s mostly expressed by pulling away.
Dissociating while depressed in my experience is a big eat/sleep/binge watch fest. The sleep feels drugged. So much so, I go back to sleep. Then I can’t sleep and the food & TV start.
I have some parts who binge on cleaning and doing. They’ve been on a long VaCa.

Dissociation has too many nuances. Often it is more watching my life happening than living my life.
 
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