hi everybody, my fiancee has been diagnosed with Complex PTSD. It is an absolute nightmare for her, of course. She is currently undergoing therapy (we have just changed her therapist to one who is more specialised in trauma and PTSD issues - our first one was a bit too "fluffy" for her issues) and has been on Prozac for a little less than two weeks. The meds are starting to work but there's still at least another two weeks before they really kick in. It's really hard right now. She has been quite badly depressed for the last six months and only began therapy about 6 weeks ago. It started well, but as with all therapy, the returns began to diminish. After one session she started to doubt the ability of the therapist, and I agreed with her. She then got very angry for agreeing with her concerns. This was confusing; however we did find another therapist, who we will be seeing next week (it can't come soon enough!) She blames me for a lot of things, some of which are more valid than others. She has been neglected in some form or other all her life, and (unwittingly) I am repeating a lot of those patterns. I have a problem with honesty, and she was lied to constantly by her mother - her mother promised her many things and never delivered. I have promised her things too, and I have also not delivered a lot of the time. She claims that I do not care for her (if I did care for her, why would I do all of these hurtful things?, she says), that I am very self-centred and only do things for her if it makes me feel good. Right now I'm typing this after yet another big blowout. The background is that she threatened to break up with me this past weekend - go back to America (from New Zealand, which I would have to pay for). I begged for, and got a second chance. She gave me three weeks to change my behaviour. After two wonderful days (where I felt like a completely different person, happy, smiling, loving and caring) I made the near-fatal mistake of lying about.....her upcoming birthday plans. The fact that I lied about them is far worse than the details. I know I shouldn't have lied - that is a character flaw that I have to sort out by myself. At any rate, her demeanour changed completely - she went from being happy and hopeful for the future to terribly depressed and frustrated with me again. Today has been no better - I have managed to put every single foot wrong again. Just a few minutes ago, after coming back home from work, I sat down with her to start to chat. She got up to do something, I got up to do some breathing exercises (very important - I'm very stressed out!) and when she got back she accused me of ignoring her, standing and doing nothing. I had to withdraw for a few minutes, being very taken aback. She called out to me, again accusing me of ignoring her. I came over to her side, and started to try to make her feel better (and failing of course). She immediately launched into me, demanding to know why I was just standing there doing nothing. Basically, she caught me in a minor deception (something about breathing versus stretching exercises), yelled at me very loudly and told me in no uncertain terms to get out of her face. And that's why I'm typing here right now. I have issues to sort out for myself - therapy sessions and Lifeline phone counsellors (and my partner, when she's feeling okay) all tell me that I need to take care of myself first, otherwise I'll be no use to anybody. And right now, I do feel useless and hopeless. I love my fiancee - when she's feeling good, she's the most wonderful person in the world - but all it takes is just one misstep for everything to come crashing down. I feel absolutely awful about this - making the mistake, being unable to stop the situation spiralling downwards. I have hurt, and am hurting my fiancee too much. But I'm hurting too, and I really don't know how to cope. All the love in the world is not enough. I need tools as well. How on earth do I make things better?