the namesake 10-80 is a US ten-code, i`m a trained radio op, but not in the US. (Germany, BOS-Sprechfunk)
I lost quite a few people to accidents and suicides.
I served as conscript 10 years in disaster relief. (rescue, disaster scouting/recon, onsite radio dispatch for large disasters, etc.)
I volunteered on "as needed" base for first aid organizations as driver/radio, i never walked by when people where in need of help. I still hate every time I lost someone.
I pulled the guy who`s best man I was at his wedding from a car accident and i have yet to see a worse one. (I dont want to talk further on that subject. thanks. he survived & recovered. I still pay the price in memories.)
In 2014 when my ex-gf broke up with the abusive father of her two kids, i stepped in and protected her and the kids. I became a target too. this ended in a "paranoid depressive outburst", which basically was living in a 10 day nightmare with zero sleep, bloodpressure and pulse above whats good, etc.
at that point pandora`s box broke open.
2016 i almost died due to lung infection aquired during holidays.
i have a tendency to still help people even though i might need a break. so please dont worry if i suddenly go silent, i usually need a break.
on the remedy side:
I no longer count failed rescues, i count the saved ones.
i got treatment in 2015 because i have other issues, too. (F84.x - "on the spectrum"), did pay counselling out of my pocket since 2014. burnt out the first counsellor with my stories.
stable, but still in the high region of the biweekly PTSD Coach App test. tracking mood with daylio and complaints with excel sheet to identify counter strategies. no tendencies to do stupid things or "self medicate".
social isolation may or may not be an issue related to either PTSD or F84.
not officially diagnosed since thats something the counsellor has to refer to a doctor.
and the last two doctors where not very helpful.
decided to move from lurker to active seeing a firefighters post about his nightmares.
one thing i want to ask of everyone in here (its not an easy request):
try to avoid suicide please.
it is a permafix for a bad temporary situation.
and it taxes a heavy levy on those train conductors, dispatchers, first responders and site cleanup people.
THANKS. <3
A lot of us will rather talk for hours then see one more "unwanted passenger" accident.
stay safe everyone. and dont forget to smile. it`s contagious.
I lost quite a few people to accidents and suicides.
I served as conscript 10 years in disaster relief. (rescue, disaster scouting/recon, onsite radio dispatch for large disasters, etc.)
I volunteered on "as needed" base for first aid organizations as driver/radio, i never walked by when people where in need of help. I still hate every time I lost someone.
I pulled the guy who`s best man I was at his wedding from a car accident and i have yet to see a worse one. (I dont want to talk further on that subject. thanks. he survived & recovered. I still pay the price in memories.)
In 2014 when my ex-gf broke up with the abusive father of her two kids, i stepped in and protected her and the kids. I became a target too. this ended in a "paranoid depressive outburst", which basically was living in a 10 day nightmare with zero sleep, bloodpressure and pulse above whats good, etc.
at that point pandora`s box broke open.
2016 i almost died due to lung infection aquired during holidays.
i have a tendency to still help people even though i might need a break. so please dont worry if i suddenly go silent, i usually need a break.
on the remedy side:
I no longer count failed rescues, i count the saved ones.
i got treatment in 2015 because i have other issues, too. (F84.x - "on the spectrum"), did pay counselling out of my pocket since 2014. burnt out the first counsellor with my stories.
stable, but still in the high region of the biweekly PTSD Coach App test. tracking mood with daylio and complaints with excel sheet to identify counter strategies. no tendencies to do stupid things or "self medicate".
social isolation may or may not be an issue related to either PTSD or F84.
not officially diagnosed since thats something the counsellor has to refer to a doctor.
and the last two doctors where not very helpful.
decided to move from lurker to active seeing a firefighters post about his nightmares.
one thing i want to ask of everyone in here (its not an easy request):
try to avoid suicide please.
it is a permafix for a bad temporary situation.
and it taxes a heavy levy on those train conductors, dispatchers, first responders and site cleanup people.
THANKS. <3
A lot of us will rather talk for hours then see one more "unwanted passenger" accident.
stay safe everyone. and dont forget to smile. it`s contagious.