1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Discussion in 'Therapy' started by Ruth09, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. Ruth09

    Ruth09 New Member Premium Member

    Are there any good books on the subject? Something I can read that is a little deeper than just "googling" it.

    I just started my first session a week ago and found myself crying myself to sleep more than once.

    I'm wondering what the hell I got myself into.

    Hurts. Alot. I feel like I'm crying more for the safety of my own soul than the pain of what I experienced. I feel like I'm being ripped apart.

    I guess this is what its like to be in touch with your own humanity.

    When you are trained to be a soldier, you stuff your humanity in a box. And keep it there.

    This really sucks.
  2. 2quilt

    2quilt New Member

    Try the local library, or better yet, a university library.
  3. dharmaBum

    dharmaBum Well-Known Member Premium Member

    This might be too basic for you, but it might help. It is a web presentation from the VA for psych providers about CBT: wwwDOTptsd.va.gov/professional/ptsd101/flash-files/Psychotherapies/player.html

    I did CBT with a pretty compassionate buddhist counselor for about 5 months and just felt horrendous. I switched because of Insurance coverage and recommendations to one who also does EMDR and feel things are going much better. With CBT, I had the deconstruction thing going, but not enough reconstruction by the end of the session. I would often feel like I was just barely making it between sessions. With EMDR included, I'm doing much better- leaving a session feeling more resourceful rather than more desparately aware of the pain in life...
  4. Ruth09

    Ruth09 New Member Premium Member

    dharmaBum,..
    Thanks for the link it was informative. And the comment about barely making it between sessions. This is exactly how I feel. And I'll keep EMDR in mind.
    Thanks, again.
  5. JohnnyM53

    JohnnyM53 New Member Premium Member

    Hi Ruth,

    Yes, it sure does suck. I shoved everything down subconsciouly probably because I had no other way of coping with the overwhelming feelings experienced from abuse during the first 14 years of my life.

    I was so screwed up, I didnt even know I was screwed up!

    The book that is considered by many to be the best self help book on CBT is Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. There's also a handbook by the same name, which has work sheets in it.

    Basically, Burns teaches us how the brain, thoughts and emotions work, and more importantly, gives us techniques and working tools to help us. I've read books for 28 years and this one contains very powerful yet simple techniques (such as the vertical downward arrow one) to help us unravel the mystery of our beliefs, and teaches us how to critically analyze our thoughts and feelings by testing their validity/reality, and/or what factors played a role in accepting certain thoughts/beliefs as "the truth".

    I read it 20 years ago and it changed the direction of my life 180 degrees. For the first 30 years of my life, my emotional state was absolutely chaotic and my thoughts raced inside my head so fast, I had no idea they were going at high speed until I began applying his techniques. Today, in big part thanks to Burns, I can truthfully say that, not only have my thoughts slowed down to a healthy level, I was even able to help others using his technique/logic.

    Good luck Ruth! I hope you find the peace you seek. I finally did, yet never thought I would, as it seemed to be an impossible task.

    Johnny
    helena likes this.
  6. blackdove

    blackdove New Member

    If it hurts it's working

    I am also going thru this therapy at the moment. I tend to read books about (try to read books - my concentration is terrible) the job that the therapist has. It has helped me alot to understand what is being attempted to be done to me. There is a really good writer named Louis Cozolino and I have tried to read his books. I like the idea that neurons can be fixed or re-fired. I just hope it's true! Keep well. :wink:
  7. the racha

    the racha New Member

    Hey, Ruth. CBT is definitely no walk in the park. Have you considered talking to your therapist about how difficult this is, and working together to structure your sessions in a way that leaves you feeling less unsafe?

    For example, after some truly horrendous therapy "aftershocks," my therapist now checks-in with me about 5 minutes before our session ends. This is good for bringing me back to reality, and preparing me to go back out into the world. Also, you may want to talk to your therapist about the "reconstruction" you mentioned. I say all of this because, from my experience, it is pretty hard to find a therapist that you trust and that isn't messing you up even more! It is much easier to work on your therapeutic regimen with a therapist that you trust, but may need a little more direction from you in terms of what you need.

    I don't know which course of therapy would be right for anyone, but certainly during my first couple of years of real therapy (by "real" I mean that I was partaking rather than just numbly talking about what happened to me) I was a total wreck. At one point, it took absolutely everything in my willpower not to act on an impulse-- but after I beat it that time, not acting on that impulse became a whole lot easier.

    Good luck to you.
  8. Ruth09

    Ruth09 New Member Premium Member

    Thanks for the info guys. I mean it.

    the racha,... yeah, I do have a problem trusting my therapist. On my second visit, I told her exactly how I felt,...without "editing" my language. I think that was the best thing that happened. It was the first time in my life I could actually speak my mind without worring about being punished for it. I just hope it lasts.

    So now I'm on the hunt for some books.

    Thank you all, again.
  9. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Read:

    1. http://www.ptsdforum.org/showthread.php?t=576
    2. http://www.ptsdforum.org/showthread.php?t=568
    3. http://www.ptsdforum.org/showthread.php?t=566
    Trauma therapy is supposed to make you worse initially... and when I say initially, the first 3 - 6 months is about the timeframe. If it doesn't make you worse, then your not participating correctly or simply, being lazy. The idea is to make you ill, because it means your brain is being pushed beyond its comfort zone.
    cat likes this.
  10. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Princess ♡ Staff Member Premium Member

    Hell yeah! :eek:

Share This Page