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Combat ptsd site merger (check in)

Discussion in 'Military & Emergency Services' started by CyclePath, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. CyclePath

    CyclePath Active Member

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    You know @SaharaSon, I just loaded my boxer up in the truck & took a ride around the block. She loves that. Mostly dirt roads and plenty of things to smell and see. Anyway, as I got to a spot that I often stop to take it all in there where two dozen butterflies in the road on the gravel. I walked up to them to see what's up. They were jet black on top with vivid blue spots and they had equally vivid orange spots underneath. I was struck not only by their beauty, but how they seemed not to have a care in the world. Shortly after that I began to notice the flowers along the road. And it hit me. There is beauty here in this life if we chose to find it. There is also division and pain, but that is how is it supposed to be. It is His mandate. Maybe it would do you some good to go and find some beauty and remember that there is hope in His promise.
    I dunno, but I hope to hear from you soon.
     
    RCD_VET, Buttercup, SaharaSon and 5 others like this.
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  3. Simply Simon

    Simply Simon Be Bold. Moderator Premium Member

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    Just an observation (from someone who apparently cannot mind their own business and keeps sticking their nose in this thread--tell me to f*ck off whenever) @SaharaSon, you have been really engaged at least here in the Trauma & Stressors section over the past several days (if memory serves me right, and it often doesn't). You might've over-exposed yourself.

    Take a break. Take a breath. Or take off. But I hope you visit sometime when the walls come down.
     
  4. zebbidee

    zebbidee New Member

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    @CyclePath i feel like i'm intruding on this conversation but your words resonated so much with me. I'm a civilian but i chose a career where I attend at major crime scenes and at the mortuary regularly. I chose it. I knew what it entailed. I thought I could handle it. and I did for many years. not doing too great at that at the moment though. and yes "incapable of properly processing" captures that perfectly. my trauma isn't yours and i would never assume to understand the experience of combat. but last night as i ran the death list through my head, I wondered why i had never made a list of all my most traumatic cases before. before PTSD all my cases were filed away neatly and separately. and now they are all bound together in a decade long horror movie that i'm directing in my head. hopefully therapy will help me process and separate them all again.

    i constantly minimize my trauma because I signed up for it. I recently read comments on an article where a mortuary worker had sued his workplace for his PTSD or something like that. the comments on the article all pretty much said "dude signed up for it, he should have left if he wasn't cut out for it". the ignorance of that statement astounded me, but i do think that's how most people think. but we are all human and just because we are brave enough to do these difficult jobs that the majority of people openly admit they could never do, does not mean we are immune to the human instinct to survive, to be horrified and traumatized by the death and pain of others, or injury or threat of injury to oneself. to me PTSD is a normal reaction to an entirely abnormal experience, that the human brain simply cannot process.

    thank you sincerely for your service, i'm sorry for butting in on this conversation, your words just hit home. i relate because i also don't feel that my trauma experience fits with those who have been abused/injured/neglected by others. i know the PTSD symptoms can be the same but i don't feel like i have the right words or understanding to offer support to anyone with those kinds of traumatic experiences.
     
  5. CyclePath

    CyclePath Active Member

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    Let me start off by saying thank you for your post @zebbidee . You see your post has made me reflect on the fact that I always reserve the right to get smarter later. You've made me realize that there are likely multiple groups that deal with PTSD that feel like I do wrt causation. That is something that I ahdn't really recognized. Also, it lends itself towards credibility as to us being on the same site. We can all learn from each other in some sense and that is important because the site itself exists as a means for communication, so as for "intruding", I think not. I prefer positive communication over exact adherance to thread etiquette that does at times seem intangible to me. That's probably pretty obvious as one reads this thread. Not that this place should be a free-for-all by any means.
    Thank you for the saying that my words resonate with you, but I think that I have learned from your post as well. Welcome to the site!
     
    Freida, scout86, ladee and 2 others like this.
  6. Deadman

    Deadman Well-Known Member

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    I'm late to the show but I'm checking in. Apparently, a lot has changed in the past couple of months. I'll try to catch up. Till then be warned that I have no idea what has happened on the site since June.
     
  7. SaharaSon

    SaharaSon Active Member

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    Cycle, those are some heavy words of wisdom. I ride (walk) fence with my dogs a couple of times a day. Today we ran into a coral snake. They are beautiful animals, shy and harmless if you leave them alone. If you try to handle them, they will make you regret it. I was really happy to see it, because this summer I haven't seen any snakes of any kind around. Not a good thing, more mice and rats instead. I think some of these big ass owls that have taken up residence in the back have gotten to some of the snakes. Damn. Hurricane Irma tore the hell out of this area (North Florida). Trees down all over. On power lines, on houses, cars, etc. Lots of flooding, bridges closed all over the place. Hurricanes have a way of distilling down what is important in life. Survive, and help your brothers and sisters in trouble. Hurricanes are beautiful that way. I am now the Florida chainsaw massacrer of downed oak trees. I'll be doing this sh*t for a long while. Its actually kind of fun, as long as nothing falls on you and you don't cut your legs off. Damn Cycle, I feel kind of beat up, hurt my back, bad knee, bad heart, too many many f*cking concussions. Other that, everything is fine.
     
  8. SaharaSon

    SaharaSon Active Member

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    Thanks Simon. Very good advice. There were some things that were cutting a little deeply. Very painful to recall. I was blocking some of these things out as a defense mechanism for a long, long time, but they still came to the surface. I just needed to back away for a while. Hurricane Irma was good for me. It helped me to forget about the past for a while, because I had to focus on the present. The problem is that the past is always lurking out there waiting to take you back, like a pusher. I prescribe one hurricane about every three months, before you start getting too comfortable, for anyone with PTSD, CPTSD or IED. It will help you to forget a painful past. "God D*mn the Pusher Man...I said....God D*mn....the Pusher.......he doesn't care whether you live or die....."
     
  9. ChinStrapped

    ChinStrapped Guest

    Wow lots of changes. Looks good to me. Came off Mycombatptsd about 2 years ago, lurked a bit and then left it. Served a very good purpose in my life. I think bringing more people in at varying stages of life, living with the ptsd beast, military or not, is a positive thing. Not sure many would agree but you have to move on after military service and integrate, if you want to move forward, is my belief. I do think a closed community suited the type of paranoia veterans experience though, which contradicts everything I've just said!!

    Uk. Afghan 09-10
     
    Simply Simon and scout86 like this.
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