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News Complicated Grief Needs Specific Treatment - Losing a Loved One is Not PTSD

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Quatam, I'm sorry that you are on the receiving end of the 'industry' side of mental health. This really upsets me that people are not being treated correctly and are at the mercy of inapproriate insurance providers' policies.

Trauma induced mental health absolutely requires expert diagnosis and therapy. Even for medication purposes alone, solid education, training and experience is required.

With friends and family not understanding, I've come to the conclusion that I either don't talk to people about it, or the ones that care enough will allow me to educate them more in what I am dealing with. I have a few friends and my husband who over time are starting to understand more of what I am telling them. I get less invalidating and inappropriate comments from them now.
 
The DSM 5 would also likely not diagnose a person with PTSD due to the death of childhood friends, violent or otherwise, if you weren't present in the traumatic event itself, because at age 7 you could not have developed the complicated emotions for longevity friendships to meet the new DSM 5 criterion: "learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend; cases of actual or threatened death must have been violent or accidental".


I say that because the childhood criterion for PTSD encompasses such aspects due to the age of the person, in that a child of 7 only has an emotional bond that strong to a primary caregiver, not another child... excepting siblings.

I'll have to disagree with you on this because it truly depends on the kids involved, what they have already experienced, and the event. I do know, you weren't there, you didn't know our relationship, or what I was going through at the time. I did write a whole thing on what happened and I was angry(not accusatory). But that's okay, because I'm told I need to. Then, somehow, I closed my browser and I really don't want to go through all of that again. I can tell you, from the event, I can't see people skating on a pond or a river, without severe panicking. My kids have never been allowed to do so. Though it might have caused pts and not ptsd. It definitely contributes to my chronic(complicated) grief.

For others, I agree a correct diagnosis is good. How else can you be treated? I just don't need to be told what it is because I don't want to focus on that. I want to focus on healing. Goodness knows, I did drop a few therapists that I think tried to project things on me, or seemed a little too gung ho on pushing the meds.

I wish for all of us to heal, to live a normal life, whatever that might be.
 
I also have a friend and a good few clients who are T's and have open conversations with them and they are the least money driven people I know but that could be chance.

I don't doubt that there are many mental health professionals out there who have their heart in the right place when it comes to wanting to help people and wanting to provide good therapy to heal people.

But therapy is only as good as the therapist providing it and many are inexperienced, lacking in education and whilst their intentions may be honorable, it doesn't help the client.

There is also the fact that PTSD is the 'trendy' diagnosis to have now.
 
Correct diagnosis needs to be with someone fully educated and experienced in diagnosis of trauma related mental health illnesses. Otherwise correct treatment cannot be given.
One of the problems I had is that I certainly would never have thought of them being trauma related illnesses and did not even think to bring up so much that was relevant. Mostly I was just concentrating on looking as normal as possible without even realising that. If asked I would almost frantically have said that nothing I experienced ever affected me at all. All of that makes it much less likely that one gets treatment or a diagnoses from the right person.

PS. Hi Shellbell,

Saw your post after posting mine. I think therapist's that are under qualified for what the person is suffering are just plain dangerous and can be re injuring. They have been for me.

It's beyond me how PTSD can be trendy but as I said it is out of my realm of experience.
It seems you have come across a lot of this. Is it in treatment that you have seen them? No pressure to answer.
 
Yes, PTSD is absolutely a trauma related illness, the effect a trauma has on the brain, that threat to existence, or witnessing in person someone accidently or suddenly losing their life etc, is why PTSD occurs.

Other mental health illnesses like severe depression, BPD, Bi-polar, Anxiety Disorders (which IMO is what alot of people have, not PTSD), don't require external trauma. That's why there's talk of changing it to PTSI - the 'I' being injury - as a significant survival threatening trauma is required that affects the brain, to have PTSD.

When I was diagnosed I had to talk about my trauma and it was very painful, but it was needed to correctly diagnose.
 
Yes, PTSD is absolutely a trauma related illness, the effect a trauma has on the brain,
Just to clarify I was not commenting on the PTSD's source or other conditions. I certainly agree that PTSD is caused from trauma and agree about the effects it has on the brain. It's a little off topic from what I was talking about but I will also say that trauma and post traumatic stress although not fulfilling PTSD criteria needs similar treatment. It seems you always knew that your symptoms were related to trauma and that must have been helpful. I am not sure if I am alone or not but I did not.
 
It's a little off topic from what I was talking about but I will also say that trauma and post traumatic stress although not fulfilling PTSD criteria needs similar treatment. It seems you always knew that your symptoms were related to trauma and that must have been helpful. I am not sure if I am alone or not but I did not.

Oh yes exactly Abstract. In fact, you saying that tonight is the first time I've thought of it that way (as regards myself).

As to ptsd being 'trendy', then I am sorry they are nuts. Because it's like signing up for leprosy.

I cried once after the other stuff (rarely had ever cried prior and learned to do that unseen), and was told "What's a matter with you, you were doing so good before and now you're falling apart". Well, they were partially right, I had already fallen apart much before.

The things I did to deal with it, especially in the first 4 years- the consequences- would have been traumatic for many people. For example, attempted rape. But how can you 'say', when you're somewhere you're not supposed to be, with people others don't know about? So I kept everything to myself.

Oddly enough, I remember it always ended in close calls, or SA or attempted rapes. And all I wanted was relief; I can recall just wanting some peace, hoping maybe I'd be able to sleep(!)

And yet, I consider it a blessing to have not been diagnosed with any label back then. Even if ptsd were the fit, they knew even less about it 30 years ago, and especially as per adolescents, etc. And I even now would not be one to seek out treatment for anything, physical or otherwise, without waiting a long time to see first if it resolved itself. Otherwise it seems making a mountain out of a molehill. The help I tried to get was useless; recall even at 18-ish being told maybe the night sweats were 'menopause'. Never told anyone about the hypervigilance, etc. Just sat against the wall a lot, lol. Like you said Abstract, I would have died first. I just thought I must be 'nuts'.

I only know, I agree with their criteria, I think very good T's are hard to find, not having ptsd is a blessing, and whatever works and doesn't harm anyone else in the process, is what I try.
 
. I just thought I must be 'nuts'.
.
Junebug,
I relate to a lot of what you say. I too just always thought I was nuts. And I consciously and unconsciously did everything I could to hide that fact from others. In fact the dissociative stuff I seem to experience seemed to express itself in terms of me not thinking about anything at all whilst being an extremely observant and insightful person when it came to others. I am still not sure how. I will give an example of that that is a bit off topic and I am sure there will be others that relate. Looking down at myself from above is something I have done a lot in my life. Even for things that were not that stressful at times I think. It seems people freak out about having experiences like is. I never even thought of it. In ten years of therapy I never thought to mention it either. I reacted the same way to traumatic event . It's like one thing is disconnected from the next. But still the reactions are there nonetheless. The same thing goes for seeing people turn into my father when they were angry amongst many other things.

So I had a general sense of being quite nuts and yet no ability to have self awareness as to why or any ability to relate it to others. In some ways I am really grateful for my eating disorder. It forced me into treatment in a way that I would not have had without it.

I would not have discussed any traumatic experience in T under any circumstance. Not because I was purposely trying to hide it or avoid it. But rather because my brain just didn't go there and because I was in very deep denial about it having had any effect on me. I still battle with extreme revolving denial symptoms that sabotage my progress badly. I will be having flashbacks and ten minutes later be entirely convinced that I am making everything up.

That is why I can't tell exactly what was what in the past. Most of my childhood is a total blank. I have flashbacks relating to things and know those happened but the in-between stuff about my symptoms and how much and when is pretty impossible to say.
 
I relate to this as well, I was in extreme avoidance and denial and minimising for 20 years after the worst trauma. I completely denied to myself any of was affecting me and never spoke of it. I had times of depression, had chronic insomnia, hyper-vigilance, but when asked by my doctors, would never have told them anything about my trauma's.

I agree avoidance is common with trauma survivors and often people don't seek help for a long time after for various reasons.

I only sought help when the PTSD symptoms and depression were so severe that I could barely function and I was very lucky to get good help straight away.

And I think we are all now getting off topic, as this thread is about complicated grief! Oops :oops:
 
These couple of years, I have learned to dissaociate myself a lot from the situations but never been able to pick up the pieces.As I type, I wonder, how is it possible for someone to go through things like this and NOT become nuts, broken, or damaged? I am good at researching and learning more about things, but it's become more of an obsession since others around are aware of my symptoms but not my "diagnosis"?

My family doesnt really know. Only a certain few know the diagnosis but don't really know it, if you know what I mean. My hypervigilance, depression, isolation, has become more noticable and I just don't know how to hide it. Hiding pain is easier( which is what I have done) but .... :depressed: it's not a secret anymore. My family just see my conditions and consider me sick, meanwhile they dont have the decency to open up and dig themselves up from their own abyss.
 
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