I hear you. There is something about really specific ways that our own experiences isolate us. How do I say this - that having been through a thing, and knowing that it's a very specific thing, automatically means that the only other people who can truly understand are the people who went through that exact thing. And even sometimes, not them, if they weren't there on that day. I'm insanely grateful all the time for the fact that we live in a nation with a volunteer army, and I have never had to volunteer, because there are others who do it instead. And there's no way I can ever know what that experience is, no way, no how. I'd imagine that hearing other servicemen attacking servicemen would be double-plus-ungood, too. Well, that's actually a way of controlling it. We all develop our methods, right? And expending it (like you do on the heavy bag) is what I'd call effective symptom management. In a strange way, so is shaping your life to be able to be away from too much of the constant stimuli. As long as it's not eating you up inside all the time, then you are beating it, not it beating you. It sounds like you are doing that. Also, humor - even when bleak. That's good too. We can't poke at things or laugh at things (even ourselves) unless we've got a tiny bit of distance on them. I don't think it matters if it's the darkest humor on earth - that still means you can find a perspective that isn't only about the pain of it. So, hope you don't judge yourself for that. I'm grateful - thanks, really. And I hope that keeping away from the CNN and looking up the nose of a horse plus hitting the bag and all - I hope it helps. Animals are infinitely better than people, especially in the worst moments.