Just started therapy for ptsd, or at least that's what they think it is for now... Haven't talked about the trauma at all, just working on some coping strategies to get me through the anxiety.
I am trying to "normalise" myself, like do things that other people can do without getting too anxious but I'm really finding it hard to be around people. Like I don't know when the anxiety is going to cause me to start trembling or shaking, I don't know when I'll get so anxious that I just want to get out of there. I can't trust most of the people around me, even complete strangers I see on the streets.
Its getting hard to cope when I'm sitting in class and thinking that everyone is talking about me and they're all trying to do horrible things to me. I don't know if it's even true. I feel like I'm hearing it, like certain words stick out and when I hear them, my brain just goes "Oh they're talking about me, they know this and that about me, they're trying to gang up against me". I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if they're really out to get me.
I find it so difficult to trust that people are really sincere, even when they are being nice to me, I think they're just pretending. I don't know how much to share with my therapist because despite how nice shes been, I don't know if I can trust her and I don't know if I ever will. Sitting in waiting rooms drives me insane because people walking in and out, the looks they gave me, the comments they make, make me feel as if they all think I'm crazy and they must be laughing at me. Do other people with ptsd experience this? How do you guys cope with it? I don't want to seem like I'm complaining or making a big deal out of nothing. I'm just trying to well, survive and actually enjoy certain areas of my life...
I am trying to "normalise" myself, like do things that other people can do without getting too anxious but I'm really finding it hard to be around people. Like I don't know when the anxiety is going to cause me to start trembling or shaking, I don't know when I'll get so anxious that I just want to get out of there. I can't trust most of the people around me, even complete strangers I see on the streets.
Its getting hard to cope when I'm sitting in class and thinking that everyone is talking about me and they're all trying to do horrible things to me. I don't know if it's even true. I feel like I'm hearing it, like certain words stick out and when I hear them, my brain just goes "Oh they're talking about me, they know this and that about me, they're trying to gang up against me". I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if they're really out to get me.
I find it so difficult to trust that people are really sincere, even when they are being nice to me, I think they're just pretending. I don't know how much to share with my therapist because despite how nice shes been, I don't know if I can trust her and I don't know if I ever will. Sitting in waiting rooms drives me insane because people walking in and out, the looks they gave me, the comments they make, make me feel as if they all think I'm crazy and they must be laughing at me. Do other people with ptsd experience this? How do you guys cope with it? I don't want to seem like I'm complaining or making a big deal out of nothing. I'm just trying to well, survive and actually enjoy certain areas of my life...