L
Lemon Kittens
I am not sure whether or not I have PTSD, and I have not seen a mental health professional about this yet. I am hoping to get some insight and support here, meanwhile.
So here goes... Spiders! I didn't come across them very often until I moved to where I'm living now. For some reason, my place has a lot of spiders (I've hired an exterminator...useless). I didn't know about the spider problem before I moved in. Anyway, I developed a phobia of spiders in short time. I've been exposed to my phobia hundreds of times in the years that I've lived here. I've had a few spiders crawl on me, and it scared the nonsense out of me. I've also had spiders drop in front of my face while riding in a car. I don't see spiders every day, though I've had times when I had to deal with a hatching on my ceilings and more than one spider in a day.
I cannot enjoy myself in this home because of the spiders. I don't care how great spiders are, I can't stand all those creepy crawly legs and that they can hang from ceilings. I scan the walls and ceiling often. I'm at times hyper-vigilant and easily startled by a little movement or shadow. I have trouble going to bed at night, I feel nervous when I wake in the middle of the night, and I've stayed awake until morning lots of times. I don't go in the basement, and I avoid other places that may have spiders. When the warmer weather arrives, and I see my first spider, I get even more anxious. There have been many times in which I thought I saw a spider, but then there's nothing there, yet I've NEVER in my life seen things that weren't there before this situation. So the *sightings* are spider-related, as I don't see other things that don't exist. I occasionally feel like something may be crawling on me when it's really something else that is touching my skin. I try to avoid driving at night in the warm weather, for fear that there's a spider in the car. This spider situation has changed me and is interfering with my life. I want so badly to move the heck out of here, and the reason I'm still here is a long story.
Additionally, I've suffered the trauma of being in a car accident (everyone in the car taken to the hospital by ambulances), and that has affected me greatly in that I don't feel like being in a car, I've managed to avoid driving on the highway since then, I don't want to go out in bad weather. I wasn't hurt badly, but I was told that I may have been killed if the huge light pole didn't give way like it did. When my dad drove by the accident site, I got very emotional, anxious and almost sick to my stomach, and I got upset that he didn't respect my wishes to not have to go on that windy road before I felt ready. I am so afraid of being in a car accident again (knock on wood). It's hard for me to hear news stories about motor vehicle accidents or to see photos of them. I've accidentally seen a horrific photo of people in a car accident, and I mean horrific, and that image is seared into my mind. I do not enjoy being in a car where someone else is the driver. I've not had any flashbacks, but I think I had a nightmare (can't remember specifics after all this time). I am home most of the time (not a great way to go through life).
Do any of you think that I may have PTSD? And do you know if chronic exposure to a phobia can lead to PTSD? Isn't it a trauma to be in an almost constant state of fear while being exposed, many times, to the thing you're afraid of, when you have no control over the presence of the thing you fear?
Hope I didn't bore anyone with my story. Thanks so much for any info and any help.
So here goes... Spiders! I didn't come across them very often until I moved to where I'm living now. For some reason, my place has a lot of spiders (I've hired an exterminator...useless). I didn't know about the spider problem before I moved in. Anyway, I developed a phobia of spiders in short time. I've been exposed to my phobia hundreds of times in the years that I've lived here. I've had a few spiders crawl on me, and it scared the nonsense out of me. I've also had spiders drop in front of my face while riding in a car. I don't see spiders every day, though I've had times when I had to deal with a hatching on my ceilings and more than one spider in a day.
I cannot enjoy myself in this home because of the spiders. I don't care how great spiders are, I can't stand all those creepy crawly legs and that they can hang from ceilings. I scan the walls and ceiling often. I'm at times hyper-vigilant and easily startled by a little movement or shadow. I have trouble going to bed at night, I feel nervous when I wake in the middle of the night, and I've stayed awake until morning lots of times. I don't go in the basement, and I avoid other places that may have spiders. When the warmer weather arrives, and I see my first spider, I get even more anxious. There have been many times in which I thought I saw a spider, but then there's nothing there, yet I've NEVER in my life seen things that weren't there before this situation. So the *sightings* are spider-related, as I don't see other things that don't exist. I occasionally feel like something may be crawling on me when it's really something else that is touching my skin. I try to avoid driving at night in the warm weather, for fear that there's a spider in the car. This spider situation has changed me and is interfering with my life. I want so badly to move the heck out of here, and the reason I'm still here is a long story.
Additionally, I've suffered the trauma of being in a car accident (everyone in the car taken to the hospital by ambulances), and that has affected me greatly in that I don't feel like being in a car, I've managed to avoid driving on the highway since then, I don't want to go out in bad weather. I wasn't hurt badly, but I was told that I may have been killed if the huge light pole didn't give way like it did. When my dad drove by the accident site, I got very emotional, anxious and almost sick to my stomach, and I got upset that he didn't respect my wishes to not have to go on that windy road before I felt ready. I am so afraid of being in a car accident again (knock on wood). It's hard for me to hear news stories about motor vehicle accidents or to see photos of them. I've accidentally seen a horrific photo of people in a car accident, and I mean horrific, and that image is seared into my mind. I do not enjoy being in a car where someone else is the driver. I've not had any flashbacks, but I think I had a nightmare (can't remember specifics after all this time). I am home most of the time (not a great way to go through life).
Do any of you think that I may have PTSD? And do you know if chronic exposure to a phobia can lead to PTSD? Isn't it a trauma to be in an almost constant state of fear while being exposed, many times, to the thing you're afraid of, when you have no control over the presence of the thing you fear?
Hope I didn't bore anyone with my story. Thanks so much for any info and any help.