Need to go to the doctors this morning. It's all a bit scary.
walk to the bus - fear of being outside alone, fear of the " You should step in front of that van" in my head
bus stop beside a fence - has got quite triggering by extension from the assault waiting for a train
being on the bus - I look like the crazy lady, and am afraid of who might speak to me
waiting room - trapped and exposed
I know I can do the blood test bit, but I'm a bit worried about the blood pressure - it might feel like the "trapped and pinned down while people do things to me"
This last one is the most worrying. I realise I've "forgotten" to have it checked repeatedly, and it is important that I do it. But if I panic, I will run. And I tend not to know I'm about to panic. And running gets me into trouble.
But It would look crazy and ridiculous to have no problem with a blood test and struggle with the blood pressure so I can't possibly say anything.
walk to the bus - fear of being outside alone, fear of the " You should step in front of that van" in my head
bus stop beside a fence - has got quite triggering by extension from the assault waiting for a train
being on the bus - I look like the crazy lady, and am afraid of who might speak to me
waiting room - trapped and exposed
I know I can do the blood test bit, but I'm a bit worried about the blood pressure - it might feel like the "trapped and pinned down while people do things to me"
This last one is the most worrying. I realise I've "forgotten" to have it checked repeatedly, and it is important that I do it. But if I panic, I will run. And I tend not to know I'm about to panic. And running gets me into trouble.
But It would look crazy and ridiculous to have no problem with a blood test and struggle with the blood pressure so I can't possibly say anything.