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Court is Done! I Did It, I Did It...

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becvan

MyPTSD Pro
Yipee! I'm done done done.. K, well it went well and not so well. I got there first thing this morning, waited around forever.. Ya know how it goes. I was in a locked room with two other witnesses.. I went out for a few smokes, but being alone I was way to edgy and couldn't smoke.. the dvd with my statement didn't work so I couldn't review it. Coming back from my last smoke, the victims services person (cheryl) grabbed me and told me that the crown wanted to speak to me. As she was leading me in, she informed me that the sob's lawyer tried to walk into our private room! Dirty dirty tatics to try and get the sob in there at the same time as me. She was stopped but there are complaints against her for that now, as it's not allowed and she knew it. Anyways, so the crown talked to me. We stayed the charges, which means he's still charged for the next year but we do nothing about it. We have one year to do something about it if we want. That way he doesn't get acquited and doesn't get worse with me and, even better, he's still being watched. If he pulls anything off in this time period, than the charges are brought back along with new ones and it's an indictable offense (meaning good ol jail time for sob.) He also had to plead guilty to missing court dates (haha.) So I sat in the court room with cheryl to watch for myself.. that sob sat in the same pew as me, as close as he could get! Unreal the balls on this man. Cheryl was like don't move don't look, this is where he is.. Thank god for that woman.. They went through all the offenses, stayed the one charge, then made him plead guilty. God that was great to hear those words come out of his mouth! That alone was worth it. He got 30 days probation and a charitable donation for that charge. I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face at that point. It wasn't much, but he has no previous record so we are lucky we got this. Then I had to wait 15 minutes for him to clear the building so I could leave. LMAO, there was 5 cops there! And me, I was the only person in there! The cops made a point of showing up becuase he was so disrespectful to them, the courts etc..

No one wanted me testifying as I was a mess (okay still am, but it's over.) I'm very grateful that they worked it out this way to spare me the shit his lawyer would have put me through.

I did go alone. Never did ask anyone and really really regreted it this morning. I was so freaking jumpy.. man my heart felt like it was going to explode.. Anyways, it's over, thank god, now maybe I can start calming down and get myself back on track. I lost 5lbs this week just from running to the washroom. I had one hour of sleep and can barely eat. so my focus now is letting this stress go and getting back up to a healthier point..

I did it guys. I made it. I never passed out or puked (mind you I would have if I was on the stand.. LOL) and I'm in one peace... their tatics didn't work.. nana nanan

bec
 
Way to go Bec. I'm so happy you made it through and more so that you feel a sense of accomplishment within yourself that you made it through. We'll see if this sob will behave, eh?
 
Shit hot bec... well done and congratulations. A big problem down for you, excellent news bec and excellent effort on your part to follow it through. Well done.
 
Bec - how proud are you of yourself coming through loud and clear well donr for you - what a difference in attitude in couple of weeks. Love your sense of humour and freedom in that post , take care bessings to you.
 
Thanks guys.. i'm hitting my crash and burn now.. I can't think straight.. look like a zombie, i'm just shutting down... that was way too much stress. I'm considering calling the doc in the morning and begging for a stress leave for a few days from work, just to try and get even keeled again.. not sure if I should or not.. but I know I'm in a bad spot, both physically and emotionally. Everything is shuttin down. Mind you I expected it.. just not to such a degree. People keep trying to talk to me.. and I can't tell what they are saying.. I just blank right out. then I'm like was I supposed to answer something there? LOL, I think I annoyed a few people. Right now, I know I need to self care in a major way, I'm just not sure how?

Any suggestions here? Should I stay home for a few days? How do I get food back down my throat and keep it there? Etc.. As you can tell, I'm having a hard time thinking straight (you should see me trying to type LOL) so please don't give me the you know crap.. I just don't know shit right now.. ack i should go to sleep.. i think i'm rambiling..

bec
 
Try like hell to sleep during your crash, your lack of sleep prior is going to effect this and so much more important now. You KICKED ASS! Yes, you need a break to recover, I fully agree to a couple days off and pamper the living hell out of yourself!

Bust out the bath salts, bedtime baby bath. Try chicken broth and see if you can keep it down, if so it may spark your appetite. Cuddle the hell out of you dog and kiss your kids and hug them.

Remember no negative talk. You did awesome. Remember to tell yourself it is over. And his lawyer is in trouble to boot :) Keep the cool wash cloths handy.

Remember the hard part is over and keep telling yourself this is a normal reaction to what you just did and this is recovery from it. (I keep telling myself that) What you are feeling will be temporary and this is your body and mind healing... It will find the base line soon and you will be steady again.

You did awesome Bec, truly awesome. I wish I was up there to give you a big hug and help you through this. You did great. Give yourself a few days from work. You don't need added stress while your body tries to find the even ground again. Again, BRAVO, what you did was huge I know so well and I am so proud of you!

Also belly breathing...
 
Way to go Bec, very proud and relieved everything went in your favor. Have to agree with Veiled take a couple of days and pamper yourself. You deserve it! And just think you didn't even need the army to go with you.LOL You showed alot of stregnth and guts you go girl!
 
Great suggestions guys (smart ass... anthony). I ended up in the hospital last night. I was postive I was having a heart attack. My good freind (the poor bastard) got a wake up call at 2 am with I need to go now.. raced over here, got me and away we went. Got in there and they checked my vitals, since blood pressure was fairly normal, they gave me an Ativan (lorzapam) to see if it helped. It did but man was I screwed up! LOL. I have one more and have to try and catch a doctor now to get more. I was told to stay home for awhile.. no job stress etc.. The nurse in there was wonderful. Omg, Dean stayed the night and babysat me.. and I got up just awhile ago.. and holy **** i think i'm in the wrong house.. it's clean.. the laundry is done.. he confused me LOL... coffee was made.. and I'm still stoned outta my head..

bec
 
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