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I'm in love with a former infantry Marine. He is unable to be in a relationship so we are just fwb. But true friends.
Anyway nearly 2 years later he finally admitted to me that he feels his soul is damned to hell for what he did in Iraq. A long emotional intimate discussion followed and he confessed he feels losing the love of his life (ex wife) because he needed to pay for his sins and is why he can't have love now.
I respect his religious beliefs, but told him mine were different and he'd never convince me he deserved hell.
I wish he could see himself objectively without his CPTSD. I know I can't save him, all I can do is be here for him as much as he allows. I've noticed he pulls away for days after we've been so intimate. It's hard for me. But I love him. And if that's what he needs, I'm going to give it to him.
His darkness, is a huge part of why I love him so much. He is so strong. Such a good man.
Anyway nearly 2 years later he finally admitted to me that he feels his soul is damned to hell for what he did in Iraq. A long emotional intimate discussion followed and he confessed he feels losing the love of his life (ex wife) because he needed to pay for his sins and is why he can't have love now.
I respect his religious beliefs, but told him mine were different and he'd never convince me he deserved hell.
I wish he could see himself objectively without his CPTSD. I know I can't save him, all I can do is be here for him as much as he allows. I've noticed he pulls away for days after we've been so intimate. It's hard for me. But I love him. And if that's what he needs, I'm going to give it to him.
His darkness, is a huge part of why I love him so much. He is so strong. Such a good man.