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Crying & Shaking During/after Speeding Ticket, Felt Trapped & Violated

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Hi, this is embarrassing...I got a speeding ticket yesterday, and in an area where the speed changes from 35 to 45 mph from the signs I saw, but it was dark, and the unmarked cop said it was 35. I am just going to pay the ticket and put it behind me because I cannot even handle the stress with the idea of going to court and being around people that have the 'power' to put people in 'cages' (jails). I have zero criminal record and have not had a traffic ticket in about 13 years.

That being said, I was hyperventilating and crying and shaking as the cop was very stern and authoritarian, very reprimanding in his tone. I understand that 'logically' he is 'just giving a traffic ticket'. But emotionally or maybe subconsciously my nervous system perceived him as a 'threat' to my safety because I felt he had CONTROL of my LIBERTY as far as he had the ability to do 'anything' he wanted and I felt HELPLESS, just like I did in the past with my ex-boyfriend who literally held me hostage, and an authoritarian father who (when I was kid and adult) would grab me, punch me, and not allow me to leave.

So I got flashbacks on an emotional level momentarily, and remained shaken up for hours. I felt so depressed the whole day. Like I was a tiny girl (well I do weigh 99 pounds literally!) and at the mercy of 'giants' at any given moment. I feel embarrassed because I know that to other people they would be like "it's just a traffic ticket, get over it".

But I feel a renewed sense of helplessness and I feel more reclusive, more 'nervous', and more like I am afraid because it reminded me that in reality I am at others' mercy. Please advise me or share your thoughts and opinions. I am grateful to you. I feel like an idiot though, like I am a freak for being so shaken. :-(

<Poll removed and font edited by Amethist>
 
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Thank you for the nice welcome Sandra...and Sea for the 'like'...I am doing better, just still feel foolish.
Here's to wishing everyone well on the forum. :)
Have a wonderful day. :)
 
Hi Michelle, and Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry for your horrific experience with the boyfriend. The thing about emotions is that they just ARE. They are not true or false, I guess they might be wise or foolish - but that is, as the Buddhist teachers say "Very Advanced Practice". Sounds like you did great in spite of a huge anxiety attack. No shame or foolishness there in my opinion.

Look around the forum, I think you'll find a lot of folks with experiences that will help you put yours into perspective!
Best wishes to you.
 
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